Illustrated Queries

Traditions

2011-12-02T22:13:00.000-08:00

Traditions. I'm finally realizing how important they are, especially to kids. Growing up Christmas always had a few traditions in my family. Fist, we always went to my Granny's house for Christmas Eve. The train, an old Lionel train set, was always out for the evening, and usually involved quite a bit of coaxing and fixing to get it to work properly. It always ad a certain old locomotive-liquid smoke smell to it.

My Granny always had a white flocked Christmas tree, decorated with red Cardinal birds, harkening her back to Kentucky, or so she said. And though she was rather confined to a state of being less mobile and on oxygen, she still commanded and had an opinion on every ornament and bird placed on that tree, in a nearly scary way. As a child, this evening took forever because it was very methodically organized: first we'd arrive, and talk, talk, talk and finally we'd eat. Then the kids would all sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, even though I don't think my Grandma was a believer or even remotely religious! And out of the freezer would come some snowballs. I haven't a clue where shed' purchase them, but they were a ball of vanilla ice cream covered with white coconut and topped with a fake holly and ivy sprig that held the candle so we could sing to Baby Jesus and blow out our candle. After that, it was present time, but it was all excruciatingly slow!

Likewise, we alway received pajamas on Christmas Eve to wear to bed that night, and in the morning Santa always arrived and we'd play and enjoy the morning until it was time to go to my Grandma's home for the other side of my family's celebration.

A few years ago I stumbled on Elf on the Shelf and we now have an Elf named Gabriel that visits every December. He hides and shows up somewhere new every morning. My kids so enjoy waking up and finding him and what crazy antics he's gotten into. Last year I purchased a Nativity set from Africa and my kids love to look at it and see Baby Jesus. Every year we help decorate my inlaws tree and I take photos and we have soup and enjoy hanging out together. It pretty much signifies the start of Christmas, and is a tradition we all look forward to.

This year we put our lights and tree up days before December 1st and it's been so enjoyable! Our stockings are hung, Christmas Decorations out, Advent calendar stocked with candy and goodies. We're set.

The week before Thanksgiving I saw a tweet from Compassion International linking a website that was donating proceeds to their oganization for all those who purchased a "Cradle to the Cross" wreath. Intrigued I looked into it and kinda on an impulse, placed an order. You can check out the website HERE. . It's a wood spiral with holes to hold a candle. Every day you move the candle and the wood Mary sitting on a donkey, on hole forward. For my family, we wanted to have a lot of lighted candles, so we stocked the whole thing with candles and will light an additional one each day in December. It's only the second day but already it's a highlight of the evening meal where we light the next candle for the duration of dinner.

Traditions. It feels so good to have traditions and hope that it creates a strong and sweet memory, as well as reinforce our Christian faith and reflect on what Christmas truly means. .

The Voice New Testament

2011-10-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I happened upon a small book called The Voice Revealed by Chris Seay. It was a small book that was pretty much the same selection as ini this Bible, except this is the entire New Testament as well as some other features.

This book highlights images and the story of Scripture. The word "story" is pretty big these days. I've heard at a conference that "the one who tells the best story wins"... not sure what that really means exactly. This book, because I have a hard time saying it's a true translation, is a myriad of innovative ways to express story. Some parts are like a screenplay. Other features include notes, a topical index, four different reading programs, helpful resources and an easy to read innovative way of telling Scripture. While I think it is a good supplemental Bible, I wouldn't use it as my "main" Bible.

Still, as an aid or way to further read Scripture in an engaging unique way, I can see its merit. I have an older copy of this BIble without all the notes and features and I like this new updated version better. It's layout is cleaner and easy to read and navigate. It has more of a book introduction and more features. It also has a pretty cover. It is paperback and the pages are similar to any paperback, not a "bible" feel to it. Though I wouldn't use this as my everyday Bible, I can see how someone might enjoy using this to supplement their reading.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Where Has Oprah Taken Us? - Review

2011-09-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

I will admit, I've never been a "follower' of Oprah. Sure I'd watch a show here and there, and I think i did read one of her book club selections once but I never really "got into" Oprah, so imagine my surprise by how much I enjoyed this book, Where Has Oprah Taken Us by Stephen Mansfield.

This is a biography of Oprah and yet, also a commentary on society and culture, intertwined. Oprah really created culture, not just reflected it. The book recounts her fascinating life and what shaped her, the good and the bad, chronicling her resolve and her belief systems that have evolved over the years. Though well-revered and loved by many, she isn't perfect, and in fact, she'd probably be the first to tell you that! It's part of her charm and appeal: In many ways, this influential, wealthy, confident woman faces the same fears and struggles as everyone.

I didn't know much about Oprah's life and this book is a good introduction into it. Really, the woman is fascinating and the way the book is written makes it difficult to put down. What might be dry simply isn't because of the subject matter. I also really enjoyed how Stephen Mansfield wrote this: as a biographer and trying to report without bias, yet bring up several questions and concerns along the way. He'd often put his own opinions and observations in italics and that was one of the most thought-provoking parts and really made the book more meaningful to me.

Oprah has definitely left a mark on how we view religion and spirituality and how we view ourselves as well. No longer is spirituality something dictated by others, we are now in control of what we believe and how it shapes our lives. Of course, I disagree here but the reality is: this has shaped our culture and I think it is good to really reflect on that so we can understand our culture and why this is so appealing.

Intriguing and thought-provoking book. I recommend it.

Triathlon: What Was I Thinking?

2011-09-19T23:10:00.002-07:00

Pacific Grove. What was I thinking?

It would've been easy to not do the race. Even my husband, David wasn't asking me about it. I'm pretty sure he figured I wasn't going to race. There were a few friends that knew I'd signed up for it, mainly my friends the Floyds and my tri buddy Joy, but I didn't really advertise it too much, probably leaving an "out" in case I didn't do it.

I had little intention of doing this race, and I can't tell you why or what changed. A friend named Dave that I had met at Pacific Grove 2 years ago called me up and encouraged me to attend. ("victoria, this is God speaking....). And my friend Bobby and I had a spirited twitter exchange. I wouldn't commit to coming but it was them that made me realize there actually was a part of me that wanted to go, but not sure if I wanted to race; I think I just wanted to be a part of this race scene with folks that I consider my friends, and for some reason, David wasn't racing any Olympic or shorter distance triathlons this year and the 2 Half Ironmans he did compete in were void of any of these familiar faces. I realized I wanted to be among these triathlon community friends but the only way to do it.... was to race!

I already paid for the slot. I already had the wetsuit, a really nice one thanks to wetsuit rentals.com (thanks Patty!) Though I have to admit that I went out in the ocean a few weeks prior and discovered that the pool is nothing like the ocean! I completely panicked and there I could touch the bottom during the entire ocean swim. Knowing this, I am still surprised I decided to compete in this triathlon. There was a part of me seriously concerned that I wouldn't be able to manage the swim and that I'd panic.

Seriously, I had so many concerns! Could I really survive the swim? Could I even get out of the wetsuit without help? (no one is allowed in the transition area unless they are a competitor) Would I be cold and uncomfortable? How would the bike be? I'm not used to riding with lots of people, and I'm still scared of clipping in and out of my pedals. Add to that, I wasn't sure if I could even take a sharper turn that I'd need to do for the 2 laps. And then there's the run: I wasn't too afraid of that, as I had already resolved that I'd simply walk it. I didn't care. I knew there was no hope of running it and....... I wasn't sure I'd even make it to the run, so I didn't even plan that far ahead.

Despite all my fears and misgivings, after some encouragement from my tri buddy Joy, I decided I wanted to race and informed my husband David. He was nothing but supportive, and I almost wonder if he was waiting for me to make this decision on my own. But once made, he was giving me all kinds of advice, especially on the best way of laying out my transition stuff, where to put my shoes, socks, cycling shoes, some sport jelly beans because I still am scared of gel.

THE RACE:

I couldn't sleep at all. Not sure it was nerve, excitement, or the 5 diet cokes (diet pepsi actually) that I had with some church friends after church that night. David had loaned me his nice tri bag that made me LOOK the part of a triathlete but i sure didn't feel like one! Regardless, I do think having a nice bag like that is helpful. David reminded me of what to pack and I was all set the night before, yet still couldn't sleep. Finally, at 2am I fell asleep, only to be woken at 5:00. We were supposed to be in the car headed for the race by 5:30, but that's not always easy with 3 kids, so we didn't actually leave until nearly 6. My swim start was at 7:40, nearly the last AG wave of the day and I had yet to register. I ate a cliff bar and water as we made the drive to Pacific Grove.

We arrived a bit after 7pm and I had no problem at all registering. Tri-Cal does a good job at making their races enjoyable for the athletes and spectators alike. This was actually my third time at the Pacific Grove Triathlon, yet incredibly different this time, being a racer instead of a spectator with a camera.

Since we were running late, I got my package and race number, and headed to transition, where I said goodbye to David and my 3 kids. First, I have to say this now: I can't believe how enthusiastic and encouraging my kids were to see me race. The cheers, the hugs, the encouragement, it was the sweetest thing ever. They'd been to so many triathlons - David's triathlons, I though for sure this was all boring to them, but they were so encouraging to me.

Knowing I was running out of time, I gave David a quick kiss and entered The Unknown. I was completely clueless and without a guide. I knew nothing and I knew I knew nothing! I thought that racks would be by age group, and they were, but they weren't marked as such. Instead, they were by numbers. number But I couldn't figure it out, as my number was 4 digits and these were 3. So I called David who informed me to look for my number. And I found it... but it was a tight, tight squeeze sandwiched between 2 bikes. How would mine ever fit? I was clueless but looked around and just tried to put it on the rack anyways and managed to squeeze some room for my transition towel and quickly laid out my gear in the manner David outlined. I have never felt so alone and clueless in my life. Next, where to and how to put on the race numbers on my bike? Some had it on the seat tube, others on the top tube. I looked at my iphone: I had 20 minutes. If I wasted a bit of time, I could legitimately miss my wave. As tempting as it was, I put on my wetsuit. This isn't easy! I got it halfway up and then I grabbed the body glide, my swim caps (David recommended I were 2, one underneath my race color cap) and goggles. Oh and my timing chip. Can't forget that! I ran out of transition, to where David was waiting for me. But there I was stopped by a volunteer asking if I was body marked. I wasn't! I had 10 minutes before my wave started. She marked my arms, hands, and then I lifted up the legs on my wetsuit for her to mark my age and my race number on my calf. David was waiting. He helped with the body glide, sunscreen, and then managed to zip me into my suit and walked me down to the water, telling me that I should try to get in the water to get wet prior to the race start. So I did, but not because I wanted to, simply because he knew what he was talking about, I didn't. I surely DID NOT want to get cold before I had to! But it was good. I even got my whole head submerged, climbed out and waited with all the other over 40 purple capped women. One standing next to me smiled happily and said good luck. I admitted it was my first tri and I was nervous. She was encouraging to me, saying it was all good; they'd not let me drown.

David remarked later that my wave wasn't very competitive. We calmly and slowly clamored into the water. I started out and then realized that I still don't like the taste of salt water. Within about 5 "real" strokes my heart rate was up and I was getting scared. David told me to go slow, slower than I needed to but I thought even that wouldn't work: I simply couldn't do this at all. I wasn't cold but I didn't like putting my face in the water. The salty taste was difficult for me, so I resorted to a rest kick (scissor kick). I was mildly surprised that this kick was just as fast as some of the other women's freestyle stroke around me. (keep in mind, I was at the end of the pack!) But then, nearing the first buoy, the cold water got trapped in my ear (I have a hole in my eardrum) and instantly was in a state or near vertigo. I was disoriented and stopped swimming. I couldn't find my bearings at all. There was a person on a surfboard a few feet from me and I was so panicked I froze. I think a few others saw the terror on my face and I think someone said I could use the surfboard person as a rest for a bit if need be. My heart was pounding; I was so very afraid and wanted to just quit right then and there. Nearly did, but then I though: just calm down, keep moving. If it took me all day, just keep moving. There was another surfboard up ahead, if I was still scared i'd drown, I could just get help. So..... I continued on, but I can't actually call what I did swimming. Instead, I just kept steadily moving forward. By now I was being passed by the relay groups and under 15 year olds. Yep. I'm certain my own kids would've beat me! But I kept going, happy that there still were others behind me. I managed my way through the kelp beds. It wasn't that bad, and mildly comforting to have the kelp around. I thought I could almost stand on it and I liked that.

Near the end, I forced myself to pass a few folks coming up near the shore and I climbed out. What a strange feeling. I was simply thankful I had made it. David and the kids, as well as friends, were cheering me on, and I am pretty sure I made a face at them, I felt so embarrassed to be cheered for and singled out. And I know I had a simply horrible swim. I wandered up the ramp, made my way to transition. I wasn't moving fast, I didn't care. Got to my towel, sat down, pulled off the wetsuit, and attempted to dry off a bit. It didn't seem to work well, so I pulled on socks and cycling shoes, exchanged my swim caps for a bike helmet, and put on my borrowed race number belt and grabbed my bike. Was there anything else? It seemed too simple. I left my water bottle on purpose; I knew it would do me no good because I still didn't know how to drink and ride at the same time. As I went to exit, I realized my number had torn off my race number on one side. What to do? Nothing, I guess, so I tried to exit transition, but actually at the beginning went the wrong way! Still, not a bad transition for a first timer: a bit over 3 minutes. Wow.

I nearly grabbed a jacket for the bike portion but was surprised that I wasn't all that cold. I was soaking wet, yet, not cold. I know I don't ride fast so perhaps a jacket would be nice to have, but...... if I was going to race, I needed to race! So I left the jacket in transition and glad I did. I made my way to the road where the bike portion starts and got on where it said to. I was prepared to be scared of this as well, but surprised that I clipped into my pedals easily and once I started pedaling, I just felt this feeling of freedom as I realized I was done with my swim and now it was just time to enjoy this bike ride. And I did. It scared me for a bit, all the "what ifs" going through my head of others on the road, passing me, etc. But being one of the last has its advantages: I at first felt I was the only person on the road. Eventually I did pass a few folks. and then more. And more. But didn't feel prideful or good about it: many of these folks were on mountain bikes or beach cruisers and I was on a beautiful, light, carbon fiber bike that I don't even deserve to be on. In fact, I HAD To pass all these folks! But I purposefully tried to keep pedaling and at a more than easygoing pace. (though I'm sure my pace is quite slow for any other cyclist) I also made it a point to take in everything and enjoy the course: it' is simply stunning. The day was mostly overcast but not cold and the water and the beach, the trees, it was all beautiful. I'd driven on this road numerous times but being on a bike is so very different; you see it through different eyes. I've never enjoyed the coastline more than on this bike ride.

I was very concerned with the turn around..... would I be able to do it? Yes, not a problem and it made me happy. Along the way volunteers were shouting out encouraging words to all. I heard one shout "Way to Go! Almost there!" on my first loop of the ride and it made me laugh, as I recalled a sermon my triathlete pastor had preached at church last summer after one of his ironman races. I definitely wasn't "almost there!" But I knew they were trying to be encouraging and would mouth the word "thanks" as I went passed them. (I am not accomplished enough to talk or wave while riding much!) On my second lap I relaxed and tried a bit harder to pass folks. It was just beginning to get fun. I grinned as I realized I wasn't afraid and even was having a good time. I had no trouble clipping out, though I did so well before I was mandated to. David tried to get a photo of me but I'm pretty sure I dismounted before he was able to. I walked to transition; why not? I knew I wasn't doing well. But...... you can't stop regardless of how good or bad you are doing, you have to keep going. I didn't want to keep going. I'd have been happy stopping.

Or would I? In transition I spotted my friend Bobby and chatted easily with him, in a very un-racelike manner. He'd already finished. I had a long T2 partly because I didn't care. I took off my cycling shoes, and decided to put on my second pair of socks because the first was damp. I haven't a clue WHY it took me so long in T2. I can't even recall what Bobby and I chatted about. I put on a cap, and grabbed my race number without the race belt and exited T2, with some sport beans in my pocket. I exited with Bobby, and walked up to David and asked if he had the safety pins I'd left in the bag I'd given him. He did, and within minutes my race number was pinned to my jersey. (though David accidentally stuck me with the pin). My kids, once again, they were so sweet cheering me on. I couldn't help but smile and feel genuinely blessed by my family and friends. I ran and a bit late spotted my friend Denise and Dave. Such smiles! Dave ran a bit ahead of me, trying to take photos the whole way, and me, of course, trying to dodge all that. He was so sweet. It is amazing how someone you met years ago at a tri could be so encouraging., but he was an FCA-E guy, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and his love for Jesus shines so brightly in his smile alone. I have a special place in my heart for Dave and his wife Cheryl and the encouragement they are to so many.

At the water/food area I slowed down. My pace was a slow jog already but now it was a walk. I drank my water slowly, ate each sport jelly bean individually, savoring it. It's candy. I like candy. Mixed with some water, it just tasted so good. I've never tasted candy so good. Or water so good. I twas great. I walked a long time and then..... I resumed. And stopped again. Most of the women were walking too. As I was walking past some volunteers I heard their "encouraging" chants: way to go, good pace and I realized; I have no pace! How can this be good? I'm walking! So I tried to run..Then cheers again, from a larger group of my friends and family. I am pretty sure I told one of them that I'd kill them if they took a photo of me. Or if it ended on Facebook. And I think I might have even mean it literally at the moment.

I lapped around for my second lap and realized that this run/jog thing wasn't so awful, I simply didn't like it but did that mean I couldn't do it? So for the second lap I ran more than I walked, and even set my sights on passing a few folks, Not that they were in my AG, but it didn't matter. I had to pass them anyways. Again, as I neared the finish, a lot of cheering: Bobby, Dave, Denise, Clyde, David and the kids...... it almost made me cry. I heard David shout out "2 minutes! You can do anything for 2 minutes! And I wanted to retort back "what do you know" but.... he knows! He's a "real" triathlete. But I kept going. I passed a few people, and figured that I had to keep running or they'd pass me. I couldn't believe they didn't. I crossed the finish line, hugged my kids and David, It was a very sweet moment. I have always spent my time behind a camera watching this and here I was, participating in it. So very different. My time was horrible, truly, I think that I have friends that can do the same time in a Olympic distance, which is over twice as long! (the run in this tri was only 2 miles). But it didn't matter. I was done. And glad I had done it.

I still don't feel like a triathlete, I actually want a second chance. I want to experience a tri when I feel like I paid my dues and was truly ready. I want to do this again and have a faster time.

Though I may have finished, I am the same person. I'm still not an "athlete". I'm certainly not a triathlete, that conjures of images of perfection and discipline. If anything, emerging from this, I think anyone and everyone can finish a Sprint triathlon, without working towards it. Was it hard? Yes, Could I have pushed myself even harder? Yes. And it is actually a really neat thought to contemplate: I can push myself more. I want to push myself more.

The rest of the day? Got my finisher's medal, turned in my timing chip, hugged my kids, talked with friends at the FCA booth, chatted with Bobby, gave my post-race meal of bagels, cream cheese, fruit, granola bars and chocolate milk to my kids. I think there should be a triathlete for the unhealthy triathletes that really want a hamburger after the race! Then, we said our goodbyes to friends, and I wandered into transition with fellow racer Bobby to grab my bike and gear, then walked back. My kids were excited to spend time at the beach. But..... I wanted a hamburger, so we bought a burger and fries and a nice, large diet coke (my first of the day) and went to the beach. My kids had peanut butter and jelly that I had made for them before we left. We had a great time at the beach and then on the way home even went by Moss Landing. I was tired, and yet.... so thankful and happy to simply spend time with my family. We hardly did anything, yet enjoyed each other and the beauty of the ocean. And it was more than enough. I just couldn't keep from smiling.

Someone asked today how my race went. I wasn't ready to revisit it. By anyone else's standards, it was a failure. I came in last. I did horribly. I was asked if I at least had fun. "How do you define "fun"" because 2 hours of this stuff .... is that really "fun"? Am I happy I did it? Absolutely. And I'd even do it again, except this time, I want to be ready. Overall, I'm thankful for the opportunity and that I decided to do it. I am overjoyed by my friends that were there and those that expressed an interest in hearing this tale. A friend said a first tri is to be celebrated, I'm not so sure. I just don't know if this one "counts" but.... I am still grateful for so much and it became evident before, during and after this race. I am so blessed, by so much.

I may be able to tell you about this race, but I don't think I can articulate the gratitude I felt afterwards.

TIME: I am not telling, lets just say it wasn't good. But my friends, and family made it priceless. Praising God, reciting His Word on the swim bike and run.... again priceless. So much joy, so much gratitude. A very special day.

Triathlon Backstory

2011-09-19T23:10:00.001-07:00

First, a bit of backstory. Last July my friend and I watched our husbands compete in Vineman 70.3. As they were on their swim, we both looked at each other and said we wanted to do this. Perhaps not a half Ironman (we're not crazy, after all!) but some sort of triathlon. So, within a few weeks I joined the gym she is a member of and we started to work out together. I was very intimidated by the gym, but she was a great guide and I rediscovered (after the second week) that I enjoyed swimming. There's something about the silence that is calming to me. Anyways, I swam for a few months and didn't do much else, but later on tried to incorporate walking/running. I hate running and dislike it even more because I find it impossible to go even a few steps without stopping. It doesn't help that I have asthma, but it's not the asthma that causes me to stop, it is the fact that I don't like it. It doesn't feel good and I'm lazy.

Then, right after Thanksgiving, I started to attend a group spin class. This was a HUGE thing for me because I had never attended any group exercise class and, well, I'm not in shape, I'm not an athlete, and I couldn't decide if knowing the spin instructor was a negative or a positive. It turned out to be a positive, although initially I was pretty scared, as he has the reputation for having the most challenging spin class, but the reality is, spin class is very much a go-at-your-own-pace thing. I discovered that spinning isn't all that hard. Unlike Zumba or something, there's really only one thing you must do: keep your legs moving. To do it well, with proper form, challenging tension, etc, is a different story but I do think that spinning is something anyone and everyone can do. Eventually I surrounded myself with spin buddy friends, including my (very good) cyclist/triathlete husband and it made the class even more enjoyable. When i finally purchased my bike and rode it in January, I was more prepared than I or even my husband expected, and I attributed it to my challenging go-at-your-own-pace spin class. (It may've been go at your own pace but trust me, I tried really hard! There were days I thought I was going to either throw up or pass out). (

I initially had a June Triathlon date but my tri buddy wasn't in town. Not wanting to do it without her, I didn't do it either. She was at her husband's tri.... her husband that happens to be the spin instructor who also happens to be my friend and pastor! I didn't mention that fact, did I? Besides, I was looking for an excuse not to do it. But then a few weeks later, always a sucker for a good deal, I saw a discount on a Tri-California race and signed up.

I still don't know what I was thinking! With or without my tri buddy, I had committed to this race. A short little sprint triathlon at Pacific Grove. At the time, I was swimming, walking (because in my mind I can't run) and riding my bike, as well as continuing with spin classes.

So, that's the backstory.

U2 @ Oakland

2011-06-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

I've been a huge fan of U2 since Unforgettable Fire came out and have been to so many of their concerts over the years, yet I've never been on the floor, what is called "General Admission" - until now.

I'm a U2.com subscriber so it was easy to purchase the General Admission tickets presale. Originally this concert was scheduled for June of 2010, but had to be postponed. So I purchased my tickets in November of 2009 and FINALLY got to see the concert this past week. That is a long time to wait!

But well worth it.

I'm still not ready to explain and go into detail the concert and what it meant to me. Maybe in a day or two, but for now.... here's a few photos.

The Grace of God

2011-06-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

The Grace of God by Andy Stanley is simply a gift to read. In it, Mr. Stanley explores grace shown in the Old and New Testaments. In this book he looks at grace by explaining the story of Grace: being chosen by Grace, Surprised by Grace, Redeemed by Grace, Ruled by Grace, Rescued by Grace, Sustained by Grace, Puzzled by Grace, Accepted by Grace, Reborn by Grace, Filled by Grace, Saved by Grace and Commissioned for Grace.

He ends with:

"In his story, he lvoes you no matter what you've done
In his story, he doesn't love you because of what you've done.
In his story, he could not love you more and he will never love you less

It's a better story.
It's a true story.
It's a story of grace.
The Grace of God! (page 216, 217)

I enjoyed this comforting look at grace in the manner Mr. Stanley presented it.

I received this book through Thomas Nelson's booksneeze program. I was not required to write a favorable review.

The Final Summit

2011-06-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

The Final Summit by Andy Andrews is a well-written story, but one that didn't altogether capture my attention. This might be because I don't read much fiction. Still, it is about David Ponder who is visited by an angel where he meets many famous people from history .

This is a hard book to review because I enjoyed reading it, it was very easy to read, I simply don't think I prefer fiction. Still, it is a compelling story and very well written as well. I think most people would enjoy this book.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of their Booksneeze program and not required to write a positive review.

Going Deep by Gordan MacDonald

2011-06-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

Going Deep by Gordan Macdonald is an interesting look at church and people but instead of a "textbook" approach, he tells the story through a fictional church and it in many ways comes to life. The characters are fictional; the issues are very real in the church today. I've read numerous books that talk about not just attracting people to church or even a "profession of faith" but in actually making disciples that will reproduce themselves. Therein lies the goal and the challenge of the church: to have people use their spiritual gifts to help strengthen the church and each other.

This book encourages us to be "deep" people: people who will lead and train others to be "deep" people and make that their highest priority. Out of that all good things will flow and be sustainable.

Anyways, it is a story, told in story form and yet the many issues it brings up are weighty and real to life today. Though some might get lost on this book, if you are a church leader it would be in your best interest to really read this book.

I received a copy through Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze program. I was not required to write a favorable review.

For The Kids

2011-06-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

I collect good Christian kid's books and then.... I forget to read them to my kids! So here's a list of the Kid books I've purchased and I hope to go through with my children.

This is a great family Story Bible, with 270 Bible stories, beautifully illustrated. My kids enjoy looking at the pictures in this magnificent book.

Love this book based on the Catechism, basic, foundational truths told in a wonderful story format.

A wonderful twist on an ABC Book, suitable for older kids and even adults will enjoy the subtle humor in this book.

Love this storybook and its fundamental truths that are suitable for older kids.

LOVE THIS!

And one I didn't mention.... the Jesus Storybook. I've already mentioned that several times on this blog! Love it so much!

Christian Spirituality

2011-05-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

"True Christian spirituality is not a search to discover ourselves, or to be enlightened, or even to add a new dimension to our lives. No. Christian spirituality is a relationship with God. This search is initiated by God, empowered by God, and made possible by God. He is out desire. not power, not experience, not the supernatural... but God, revealed to us in Jesus Christ."

Thirsting For God, Gary L. Thomas

Don't Give Up

2011-05-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

The word for today is "road" and my first thought was my road bike.

First, I have a beautiful road bike. I'd never heard of the brand "LOOK" but after test riding several bikes, my favorite was this beautiful white bike. Since it was the fifth bike I tried out, there's a chance that one of the reasons I liked it most was because I was simply becoming more relaxed at riding bikes in general, but I also believe that it simply was a nicer bike to ride. It certainly was the more expensive of all the bikes I tried out! It cost more than my first car, which doesn't say much because my first car costed me about 1000.

Though I love my bike and love how cute it is, how lightweight it is and all that, I'm a bit afraid of it too. Being married to a cyclist, I am well aware of how scary it can be and how many near misses David's had, and he's a highly skilled rider! It just seems so ominous that I will crash someday, and that scares me. Of course, I have fallen a number of times, but only because I haven't clipped out of my pedals correctly.

Sunday I took my bike out on the road to do the course of a race I'm planning on participating in (notice I didn't say "compete"). a race. It's a big hill (that's a relative term but for me... it is a BIG hill!) and last time I tried I turned around. Sunday, with a lot of encouragement from David, I managed to go up the whole thing without stopping. I wanted to stop, but I started playing the songs that I hear in spin class.... Michael W. Smith's "Don't Give Up" song kept playing in my head.

Before I did the race course I was seriously thinking of not following through with the triathlon that I had committed to several months ago. I know I can swim, now I feel I can bike. The only thing I can't do is the 3 mile run. But... I can walk it. I don't want to walk it, but I can do that.

So this is my "road" post. I wish I could think of something deep and meaningful to tie it to, but right now I'm simply excited that I'm not giving up.

Our Last Great Hope

2011-05-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to review Our Last Great Hope by Ronnie Floyd. Everyone knows the Great Commission, and this author is passionate about evangelism. This book is a call to living al life worthy of our calling and to become missionaries to our community and world. But not out of legalism or a set of rules. He writes: "... I didn't realize the difference between devotion to His work and devotion to Him. I found that quite thought-provoking. Another quote I enjoyed is "To know Christ is to love him. To love him is to share Him."

How sobering and yet how true is that? And yet..... how are we doing at sharing Him with those around us?

More than just a commentary on our culture, the author attempts to spur people to action in the cause of evangelism. At times, I do admit to feeling a bit guilty, but his points were all well taken and his passion for the lost and motivating folks to reach the lost is commendable.

I was given a courtesy copy of this book by the publisher in exchange for a review. All views and opinions articulated are my own. I did not pledge a positive evaluation.

Heaven is for Real

2011-05-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

I'm a skeptic and not sure why I agreed to read Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo, but since it is a bestseller that all my friends are raving about, I did and have to admit, that it is a sweet story. Do I take it as a "true" story? Not sure..... it's hard to believe a four year old would talk in the manner that he did; seems so grown up!

While I don't agree with this being full of "theological truth" I can see why it'd be a comfort to many and yet, I have to wonder why Scripture isn't comforting or informative enough? Do we really need to hear about others' experiences to bolster our faith and give us assurance that Heaven and our faith is real? This concerns me deeply.

Still a sweet story and I can see its appeal.

I was given a copy of this book by Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze program and was not required to write a positive review

Unleashed

2011-05-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

What is the church supposed to look like? What does it mean to be "unleashed"? Is that a good thing, to be "barbaric"? While I enjoyed some of this book's call to leave complacency and be bold, I am not sure I followed all that he was saying. I simply couldn't get into this book. I did hear that it was a re-release of his book "The Barbarian Way" and I'm glad they retitled it but it would've been good to have better defined "barbarian".

All in all, I enjoyed the heart behind this book, I just didn't like the way he presented it. I think it is more than just living boldly or "barbaric".

I received a copy of this book free through Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze program. I was not required to write a favorable review.

Permission to Speak Freely

2011-05-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson is a rare book that combines honesty with beauty. Her honesty is beautiful and rare as she recounts her story. She grew up as a pastor's kid yet deeply broken. It is hard not to read this and weep at the brokenness yet it is done in such a way that you feel hope because she has found hope as well as the courage to help others. In fact, this whole book is an effort in helping others, to help us understand and to help those that struggle with the reality there is much hope through Christ.

Pornography is an issue that is difficult to discuss, especially in church circles. I think this book is a great tool to open a dialogue about it and allow people to seek healing.

Disclosure of immaterial Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own

Max On Life

2011-05-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Max on Life by Max Lucado is almost more of a reference book and certain sections seemed very similar to some of his prior material. Basically, this book is broken into sections by topic, making it easy to use as a reference. It is written as a question or letter that Mr. Lucado then spends a page or two providing his insight and answers. It is enjoyable to read, but not a book to read cover to cover in one sitting.

Still, this is a book that is worthy to have on your bookshelf.

I was provided a complimentary copy for review by Thomas Nelson's booksneeze program. i was not required to write a favorable review.

Like Old Times

2011-05-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

When I was in jr. high and high school I loved going to conferences like Dawson MacAllister, and all the Christian concerts at our local theme park. I couldn't wait for these events. I also loved drama tours, retreats, camping trips, I loved being in a group of people that I was familiar with.

The funny thing is that I'm a complete introvert and yet, I loved this stuff.

I think I'm more timid and introverted now than I was back then and I can't figure out what is so radicaly different. Is it that I didn't care about perception then? And isn't that ironic because aren't teenagers hyper sensitive to perception then? Perhaps I just didn't realize what a goofball I was?

Not sure but I do know that today things and larger groups are harder for me.

Yet I still love conferences, and right now I'm so excited to be signed up for several in the upcoming months. One is called Ignite and it features teaching from D.A. Carson, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler and others. I've never heard these folks live, though I've listened online and have read books by 2 of them. I also have tickets for another conference and 2 concerts! One is U2, the other is David Crowder with Gungor and John Mark McMillan.

Oh, I just can't wait!

Worst Evils

2011-04-27T01:40:00.000-07:00

"Similarly, Martin Luther was amazed and moved by this encounter, because he saw the gospel in it. This woman saw the gospel - that you're more wicked than you ever believed, but, at the same time more loved and accepted than you ever dared to hope. On the one hand, she is not too proud to accept what the gospel says about her unworthiness. She accepts Jesus' challenge. She doesn't get her back up and say, "How dare you use a racial epithet about me? I don't have to stand for this!" Can you hear yourself saying that? But on the other hand, neither does this woman insult God by being too discouraged to take up his offer. See, there are two ways to fail to let Jesus be your Saviour. One is by being too proud, having a superiority complex - not to accept his challenge. But the other is through an inferiority complex - being so self-absorbed that you say, "I'm just so awful that God couldn't love me." That is, not to accept his offer. John Newton, a minister, once wrote a letter to a man who was very depressed. Take a note of what he said:

You say you feel overwhelmed with guilt and a sense of unworthiness? Well indeed you cannot be too aware of the evils inside of yourself, but you may be, indeed you are, improperly controlled and affected by them. You say it is hard to understand how a holy God could accept such an awful person as yourself. You then express not only a low opinion of yourself, which is right, but also too low an opinion of the person, work and promises of the Redeemer, which is wrong. You complain about sin, but when I look at your complaints, they are so full of self-righteousness, unbelief, pride, and impatience that they are little better than the worst evils you complain of."

Tim Keller,King's Cross Chapter 8.

I Wonder How

2011-04-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Last night my church observed Good Friday. It is hard to call Good Friday a "celebration" and I reserve that for Easter, which is truly a celebration. I can't even fathom the emotions during the three days; the agony of watching Christ die on the cross, the day after of mourning and silence, disbelief and confusion. And then even more confusion and excitement in the reality of the resurrection; looking back at Christ words and life and seeing that if finally makes sense. The words he used, what he said, how he lived. It all actually makes sense.

During our Good Friday service the church family was invited to take communion. A simple act, but a serious one, especially during Holy Week. It always baffles me what to do with communion, as I wasn't allowed to partake of it until I became a Christian and was baptized. In fact, during my early years it was ingrained in me that to eat of the bread unworthily or with unconfessed sin was to face judgment.

During the evening my daughter who is 6 whispers to me that she is a Christian, she loves Jesus and has accepted him in her life. I am still unconvinced; how can I child fully understand? I know when I became a Christian I understood the words, but the principles and all the other stuff I really didn't. I'm now 40 and I still don't understand all that being a Christian is and the beauty and mystery behind it.

I'm still unconvinced she really understands what Christ did and what that means now in her life. I guess I feel this way because every day I'm realizing more and more fully the depths of what it all means.

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.

Do you think a small child can really understand the Gospel? Is there simple understanding and faith enough to "save" them? What happens if they fall away later? Were they ever "really" saved the first time?

Missional People

2011-04-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

Our churches can have wonderfully written missional vision statements and well-conceived plans and programs. But if individual members are not committed to living their lives as kingdom-minded missionaries in their daily life stations, then the corporate efforts of the church as a whole will never sniff the air of their true kingdom potential. It is impossible to be a missional church if we fail to be missional people. Otherwise, missionality is reduced to sponsored programs that centralize the life of the body of Christ, institutionalizing and containing it in church systems and programs that view mission as something that happens "over there" or at special events."

Right Here, Right Now: Everyday Mission For Everyday People by Alan Hirsch and Lance Ford, page 65

The Dragon and the Turtle Go On Safari

2011-04-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Dragon and The Turtle Go On Safari is a cute children's book. My youngest enjoyed it most, she's six and loved the characters of the Turtle and the Dragon, loved all the colorful illustrations and though the moral of the story was good, this book didn't catch her interest like most kids books do. Perhaps it was the dialogue and larger words, not sure.

Still, a cute book and one to enjoy reading, but this will not be a book we read multiple times.

I was provided with a complimentary copy through Waterbrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books program.

The Point?

2011-03-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

I've only a handful of blog posts during this month of March, and it's not because I've been overly busy; it is simply because the more I think about it, the more I realize I have nothing worth saying. I've been told quite often recently that others "don't care" what I think, feel or have an opinion on, but I've dismissed it because surely they didn't mean it that way; how can one have community or friendship if no one cares about the other person? But after being outright told "I don't care" has made me come to my senses.

And it hurts.

A few days ago I posted a link to an article on facebook from the Wall Street Journal about girls growing up too fast. Normally I post links to articles to further discussion, and my friend commented a very good insightful post. And after waiting a day or two called me a stinker for not discussing my own views. Didn't I want a dialogue?

I realized that I no longer need a dialogue because it is pointless. I wanted to be heard, I wanted to engage and dialogue and be known, but what's the point if my views, likes, dislikes, struggles, thoughts and ideas don't matter and no one wants to hear them? It is one thing to say to someone that they don't need to know they're having spaghetti for dinner that night, but it is another thing to tell a person that you simply don't care what they have to say and their opinion or other, weightier matters.

Once upon a time I blogged pretty faithfully because I thought I had made a commitment to do so, but right now I really fail to see what the point is except my own stubborn, legalistic resolve to post something just to say I'm faithful and consistent. But if no one cares..... what is the point?

A God Great Enough

2011-03-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

"If you have a God great enough and powerful enough to be mad at because he doesn't stop your suffering, you also have a God who's great enough and powerful enough to have reasons that you can't understand. You can't have it both ways."

- Tim Keller, King's Cross, page 54

Life View

2011-03-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

"Christian discipleship is not about a bunch of oughts that you don't really believe; it's about the life-view by which you really live."

- Transforming Christian Theology, Philip Clayton

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T23:39:00.000-07:00

My whole family wore green. Did yours?

The Dance

2011-03-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

I"m reading Tim Keller's The King's Cross and already after just chapter one, I'm impressed and enthralled. I wanted to share this excerpt with you. You really have to read this book!

"In the Garden, Adam was told, "Obey me about the tree - do not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, or you will die." Why was that the temptation? As I said earlier, God created us to orbit around him, to center our lives on him. When God says, "Don't eat, or you'll die," what is our first response? "Why?" But God doesnt' explain; if you obeyed God because you understood what he was doing and how it would benefit you, then you'd actually be stationary. You'd be saying, "Okay, it makes sense. I understand why I should obey and shouldn't eat from that tree; yes, of course." God would be a means to an end, not an end in himself.

God was saying, "Because you love me, don't eat from the tree - just because I said so. Just to be in relationship with me. He and Eve failed their test; and the whole human race has been failing the same test ever since. Satan never stops testing us. He says, "This idea of self-giving love, where you make yourself totally vulnerable and you orbit around other people -that'll never work."

In effect, the same thing happens to Jesus in the wilderness. Though Mark doesn't tell us what Jesus' temptation is, Matthew's Gospel does. His account (in Matthew 4:1-11) basically says that Satan tempts Jesus to step out of orbit around the Father and the Spirit, and around us. To make sure everyone else centers on him, and to protect himself. And of course this temptation doesnt' actually end with the literal wilderness: Throughout the remainder of Jesus' life he's assaulted by Satan, and the attack comes to a climax in another garden, the Garden of Gethsemane, the ultimate antigarden to the Garden of Eden.

We look at Adam and Eve and say, "What fools - why did they listen to Satan?" Yet we know we still have Satan's lie in our own heart, because we're afraid of trusting God - of trusting anybody, in fact. we're stationary, because Satan tells us we should be - that's why he fights the battle.

But God didnt' leave us defenseless. God said to Jesus, 'Obey me about the tree" -- only this time the tree was a cross -- "and you will die." And Jesus did. He was going before you into the heart of a very real battle, to draw you into the ultimate reality of the dance. What he has enjoyed from all eternity he has come to offer to you. And sometimes, when you're in the deepest part of the battle, when you're tempted and hurt and weak, you'll hear in the depths of your being the same words Jesus heard: "This is my beloved child -- you are my beloved child, whom I love; with you I'm well pleased,"

Page 11, 12, 13...... the last few paragraphs of chapter 1. Tim Keller's The King's Cross: The Story of the World in The Life of Jesus

Questions

2011-03-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm reading an interesting book that I identify with. Much like the author, my youth group was a magical time for me and I excelled and knew all the answers. I was unabashedly Christian, invited many to church, talked about faith, and won every competition revolving around Bible verse memorization, trivia questions, or bringing the most visitors to church. I was so very good at this thing. And here I am now, armed with all the right answers and yet, I still have so many questions.

"It occurred to me that in worldview class, we laughed at how transcendentalists so serenely embraced paradox and contradictions, but then went on to theology class and accepted, without question, that Jesus existed as both fully God and fully man. We criticized radical Islam as a natural outworking of the violent tone of the Qur'an without acknowledging the fact that the God of Israel ordered his people to kill every living thing in Canaan, from the elderly to the newborn. We sneered at the notion of climate change yet believed that God once made the earth stand still. We accused scientists of having an agenda, of ignoring science that contradicted the evolutionparadigm, but engaged in some mental gymnastics of our own, trying to explain how it's possible to see the light from distant stars. We mocked New Age ambiguity but could not explain the nature of the Trinity. We claimed that ours was a rational, logical faith, when it centered on the God of the universe wrapping himself in flesh to be born in a manger in Bethlehem.

Most worrisome, however, was how we criticized relativists for picking and choosing truth, while our own biblical approach required some selectivity of its own. For example, I was taught that the Bible served as a guidebook for Christian dating and marriage, but no one ever suggested that my father had the right to sell me to the highest bidder or to take multiple wives, like Abraham. Homosexuality was preached against incessantly, but little was said of gluttony or greed. We decried the death of each aborted baby as a violation of the sanctity of human life but shrugged off the deaths of Iraqi children as expected collateral damage in a war against evil. We celebrated archaeological finds that supported the historical claims of the Bible, yet discounted massive amounts of scientific evidence in support of an old earth."

Evolving in Monkeytown: How a Girl Who Knew All The Answers Learned to Ask the Questions by Rachel Held Evans, pages 79-80.

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-10T15:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Last year I gave up drinking anything but water for Lent to benefit an organization called Blood:Water Mission. Basically, for every time I would normally drink a diet coke or coffee, etc, I'd donate the cost of that beverage to Blood:Water Mission instead. It was great fun and several others joined in. I loved it.

This year I've been plagued with the concept of Lent and why I am participating. Is it really in preparation for Easter? I'm a non-denominational protestant; we don't observe Lent or Ash Wednesday.

Yet I still wanted that little ash mark on my forehead yesterday but too timid to go into an unknown church to participate in that ritual.

So have I given something up for Lent or did I finally concede that I really am a protestant and started acting like it?

I didn't give up anything yesterday, but did today. I deactivated (temporarily) my facebook account. But more an an experiment than actual Lent. Facebook is a way I connect with others, and I wonder if it is the primary way. I suppose by deactivating it I should be more proactive in pursuing relationships in other ways and forms, but the question is: will I? Or are my friendships with others more a matter of convenience and one line remarks?

So I journey away from facebook. It might be for a few weeks or the whole 40 days. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I won't be able to go even 4 days without it!

We shall see.

The Band that Played On

2011-03-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know much about the Titanic; my son definitely knows more than I do, so I enjoyed learning a bit more about history though the story of these heroic eight musicians. Basically, these men chose to continue playing to soothe other passengers, knowing that they would not be saved and would die.

It is hard to even imagine playing music in that moment of chaos and uncertainty!

This is a nicely written book that will appeal to those who are interested in the Titanic. I thought it was mildly interesting and enjoyable and happy to have been able to read it.

Note: I recieved this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own; my only compensation was the book.

Finally

2011-02-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

I've always enjoyed taking photos. In my jr. high youth group I'd document every mission trip, retreat, etc. I'd dress my bears up, stage a tea party and take numerous photos of my stationary subjects. The images in my mind never matched the prints I'd get back. FIlm was expensive for a kid and developing film also was! Plus, it always seemed to take forever to get back my prints!

Back then, I had whatever point and shoot my parents would buy me and surprisingly I got pretty good shots out of it. Then after I was engaged, David encouraged me to buy a "real" camera: an entry level SLR. It was a Pentax, manual focus, pretty much maual everything! It didn't even rewind; I had to do that by hand crank as well. I fell instantly in love with it, shooting everything: flowers, streams, grass, sailboats, and of course my favorite subject was David, which worked rather well because he's always enjoyed photos of his action sports. I got pretty adept at surfing photos, rock climbing photos, and windsurfing. When Conor was about a year old I bought my first automatic SLR: on that had autofocus and auto rewind. I thought I needed autofocus to catch my now walking child. (But it turned out I was so good at focusing I could rival the autofocus camera!)

Basically, I've been in possession of either a SLR (film) or a DSLR (digital) for nearly 20 years. I've taken a smattering of classes, including a darkroom class that is now obsolete, but mostly I've learned through reading and doing. And it's been wonderful.

One thing I've resisted: photo editing. Though I've had access to Photoshop for the past 16 years, I've never bothered to learn it. In some ways, I considered it cheating but the reality is: there's just too many options! Do I want vibrant color or muted? Do I want it true-to-life or completely over the top and artificial? Do I really want to remove all imperfections from people or leave it as it is, which has sort of beauty on its own. There's so many choices in digital editing; how does one know when to stop "improving" it and how does one know that it is an improvement? It seems all a matter of very subjective taste.

But lately I've been forced to revisit Adobe products while volunteering. The church bulletin is done in Photoshop and I was so scared of it, but luckily the stuff I need to do to change things are minimal so it has been fine so far. Then last week I was asked to very quickly (in two days) come up with some type of brochure/flyer. I really hadn't a clue what I was doing, but through a lot of trial and error (and a very kind husband) I was able to design a cute little trifold. Of course, when I printed it the skin colors were totally off, but I was happy.

This week I was supposed to "spice up" a half page insert. And I did. But I got the impression that it wasn't quite what was expected. It was for Prayer and Care and the only photo I could find was one I took of a child's hands holding yellow flowers. But I decided I'd try again. So I did, only I reverted to a tri-fold again... because it's pretty much all I know how to do so far! Still, it was much harder than the last one; I changed the colors in the template to better reflect my church and had to rearrange quite a bit. It no longer looks like the template at all!

Not sure if it will be more liked than my first attempt; I know a tri-fold wasn't what was requested of me, but I have to say I enjoyed it. I had no idea how much fun Illustrator, Photoshop and inDesign can be. Funny how it's taken me so long to embrace all this!

Wormwood the printer

2011-02-22T15:20:00.000-08:00

I volunteer in a church several times a week. There's much I love about it; there's a few things I dislike too. But the biggest problem so far has been Wormwood. Wormwood, or WW, is the office printer and I've named him WW because he is not exactly of the devil, but a junior "tempter"..... he tempts me to think bad things (I never say bad words but lately I've been thinking them!), tempts me be impatient, tempts me to be angry..... need I go on?

I know our joy is contingent on nothing (or supposed to be) but sometimes I wonder; WW has quite a hold on my emotions. I do't know anything about printers, and this one is so inconsistent that I have no control at all. I have finally figured out every crevice it can hide paper when it has a paper jam, yet sometimes there is a mysterious "jam" when there isn't! It hates certain types of cardstock one day but the next day all is forgiven and it accepts it heartily without protest.

Then there's the issue of print color. This is what bothers me the most, as I created it. No one will know I had WW trouble and the printer is possessed and enjoys tormenting me; no. That's not a valid excuse. So instead of printing in the cool, cutting edge brown that is supposed to be one of our new logo "trademark" colors, it prints in streaky, baby poo brown (not formula fed). Yet, every once in a while will print perfectly a few times just to baffle me and cause me to think it's not running low on any ink color; it's just tempting me to be frustrated and angry and hate humanity. Now, I'm tempted to throw away all the inferior ones, but that's about 80% (if not more) of the batch and there's no guarantee when I reprint it will improve at all!

I'm told it's no big thing, no one else seems to care that much, but I care; I created it! Plus it's an extension of my church, a first impression. I want it perfect. And there's nothing I can do to make it perfect. It is completely out of my control and I HATE IT and I know there are others that will hate it too, one being the head pastor but he's away and perhaps will never know, but even if he doesn't, I know it and bugs me!

There's supposed to be a Prayer Summit on Monday. I wonder how people would respond if I asked for prayer for Wormwood. Maybe we could lay hands on the printer. Or maybe someone else would like to print the bulletins because seriously it is driving me crazy.

I'd love to hear your suggestions on resisting Wormwood's attacks. You'd think that church printer would be much more well behaved. I could be worse; it could be Screwtape. At least with WW I think that I will prevail his clumsy attempts. (though I admit they seem to be working at the moment)

I hate printers. Oh, and the other printer, the big poster size one? I think I'll name it Screwtape. I have a feeling I won't win that battle......

Sequin Bible

2011-02-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

I have a girl. A very girly-girl. Before I even took this Bible out of the box my young daughter was excited. First, it's pink, sparkly and has little sequined appliques of hearts and flowers on the cover with the words "Holy Bible." Inside, the pages are a good consistency and the translation is the International Children's Version, a good, easy to read translation that is good for young kids, though not my favorite version.

In the back of the Bible is a dictionary, an index of "Where Do I Find it?" that contains where to find favorite Bible stories, and a section of Bible Verses that young kids can memorize.

The text is pretty small, but my daughter is so thrilled by the pinkness and shiny cover that all she wants to do is carry this Bible around and try to read it! It's adorable, and I know that the other kids in her Sunday School class are also going to love it. It is paperback but has a rather sturdy feel to it due to the cover.

My daughter loves this Bible and because of that, I have to say that I love it too. It's a simple thing that just because it is cute and pink she wants to read it, but I like that she's so interested in a Bible. This is not a "study Bible", but that's fine. She's not ready for a Study Bible and when she is, I won't be looking for one in this translation.

She adores this Bible, and even the box it came in and for that, I'm grateful to have received this and look forward to her exploring more and more of God's word.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the [...] book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Same Old Thing

2011-02-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

[Senior devil Screwtape to junior devil Wormwood]: The real trouble about the set your patient is living in is that it is merely Christian. They all have individual interests, of course, but the bond remains mere Christianity. What we want, if men become Christians at all, is to keep them in the state of mind I call “Christianity And.” You know—Christianity and the Crisis, Christianity and the New Psychology, Christianity and the New Order, Christianity and Faith Healing, Christianity and Psychical Research, Christianity and Vegetarianism, Christianity and Spelling Reform. If they must be Christians, let them at least be Christians with a difference. Substitute for the faith itself some Fashion with a Christian colouring. Work on their horror of the Same Old Thing."

C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

It's My Party

2011-02-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

There's been a lot of back and forth going on in my house lately. David thinks we must "do" something for my upcoming birthday, because it happens to be my 40th. The only problem is I haven't a clue what I want!

There is a part of me that does want a party with a lot of people, but I know from experience that I'm not usually comfortable in a situation like that. David said we could go away for the weekend but that's not what I want either, as I know I'll be generally disappointed by the myriad of "Happy Birthdays" on facebook but no other effort by even my closer friends. So by having a party, I won't face that disappointment: But do I want a party?

I don't like having others come to my home.... I always feel like the inadequate hostess, so David recommended going to a restaurant, but...... I'm questioning that as well, as I don't think I'd like a large group type of party at a restaurant: Would I really enjoy them all? Or just the four sitting adjacent to me?

Plus, on top of all that...... I don't like the attention to be all on me.

So, I have no idea what I want and a pretty frustrated husband who is trying to make me happy when I haven't a clue what would make me happy, but I know I'll be sad if I have nothing.

I make no sense.

God Gave Us The World - Book Thoughts

2011-02-12T09:10:00.000-08:00

God Gave Us The World by Lisa Tawn Bergren is a delightful children's book. The illustrations, as well as the story, are cute and endearing. My little girl so enjoyed Little Cub and the story of how he learns about others around the world, their uniqueness and God's wonderful creativity and love for the world.

In short, this is a wonderful addition to a child's library and I think the adult reading it will be charmed as well and reminded of the wonderful gifts God bestows by creating us different and how much he loves us to have provided in the wonderful way he has.

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

The Gathered Church

2011-02-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

My vision of the gathered church that had come to me after I became the janitor had been
replaced by a vision of the gathered community. What I saw now was the
community imperfect and irresolute but held together by the frayed and always
fraying, incomplete and yet ever-holding bonds of the various sorts of affection.
There had maybe never been anybody who had not been loved by somebody, who had
been loved by somebody else, and so on and on…. It was a community always
disappointed in itself, disappointing its members, always trying to contain its
divisions and gentle its meanness, always failing and yet always preserving a
sort of will toward goodwill. I knew that, in the midst of all the ignorance
and error, this was a membership; it was the membership of Port William and of
no other place on earth. My vision gathered the community as it never has been
and never will be gathered in this world of time, for the community must always
be marred by members who are indifferent to it or against it, who are
nonetheless its members and maybe nonetheless essential to it. And yet I saw
then all as some how perfected, beyond time, by one another’s love, compassion,
and forgiveness, as it is said we may be perfected by grace. -- Wendell Berry

Competition

2011-02-01T22:01:00.001-08:00

Today I realized how competitive I can be, and not in a good way. I don't know why I do this, but there's a part of me that loves to share and wants others involved.... and then once they are involved and love what I love, I no longer feel it is "mine" and that others are going to excel at the things I love more than I do and I'll be nothing again.

Silly, I know, but it leaves me feeling empty, and wishing things were different, wishing I wasn't so competitive.

Little Star - Book Thoughts.

2011-01-30T15:46:00.000-08:00

Little Star by Anthony Destanfo, illustrated by Mark Elliot, is an entertaining children's book that is about the Christmas story. It is a sweet story about a little star who wants sacrifices his life to keep Baby Jesus warm, thus exemplifying Christ's own sacrifice for us. The illustrations are sweet and the story cute, but my daughter was still not thrilled with the ending of how the star will live on because it is always remembered. Perhaps that is just a concept that is a bit beyond her still. A cute story nonetheless, and a fun story to add to our Christmas list.

Note: Per the FTC Guidelines, I am disclosing that I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Waterbrook Multnomah publishing.

Tried Very Hard

2011-01-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

"Nobody knows how bad they are until they have tried very hard to be good"-CSLewis

For The Record

2011-01-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

I started off the New Year with perfect attendance at the gym. Today's the 25th and I've been to the gym 21 times. Not quite perfect attendance but not too bad.

I now nearly enjoy spinning, and have been taking at least one class since after Thanksgiving. Now I take about 3 or 4 a week, but at the exclusion of all else. I recently realized that I have to start figuring out how to run 3 miles, and I have to keep up my swimming, so today since i had the time I did a 45 minute spin class, 20 minutes on the treadmill. (with about a full 7 minutes of consecutive running at a snail pace of 11:45) Then I swam 700 meters or yards or whatever it is called.

Now I'm beat.

Tomorrow.... not sure what i'll do in the morning but I have an evening spin class I'm looking forward to.

Such torture.

You Were Born For This

2011-01-25T14:29:00.000-08:00

Having previously read a few other of Wilkinson's books, I requested to read this one and I didn't quite like it. It may be that I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to miracles and not sure "predictable' miracles really are miracles and even if it is.... I'm not sure 7 steps to achieving them really make it from God! And yet, what he actually writes about is ways where we can make ourself available to being used BY God, not to get things out of God.

Still, I didn't enjoy this book. If you really like Wilkerson of if you enjoy following 7 "key" things to achieving results, you might enjoy this. For me, it was just okay.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a copy of this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging for Books Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Fall At His Feet

2011-01-23T12:03:00.000-08:00

I loved this quote. (can you tell that I love a lot of quotes?)

“If you knew that there was one greater than yourself, who knows you better than you can know yourself and loves you better than you can love yourself, who can make you all you ought to be, steadier than your squally nature, able to save you from squandering your glorious life, who searches you beyond the standards of earth . . . one who gathered into himself all great and good things and causes, blending in his beauty all the enduring color of life, who could turn your dreams into visions and make real the things you hoped were true, and if that one had ever done one unmistakable thing to prove, even at the price of blood — his own blood — that you could come to him, and having failed, come again, would you not fall at his feet with the treasure of your years, your powers, service and love? And is there not one such, and does he not call you?”

A. E. Whitham, quoted in Raymond C. Ortlund, Let the Church be the Church (Waco, 1983), page 39.

Via

To Be Happy

2011-01-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

I'm reading an unlikely book for me. It's a "girl" book.... well, not specifically but I can tell.... a white dress, arms holding a bird's nest with 2 blue eggs. Written by a woman, with a flowing handwritten title: One Thousand Gifts: Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.

Girl book.

Yet here's my quote for today. Coming from this book.

"God said humanity was not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And I moan that God has ripped away what I wanted. No, what I needed. Though I can hardly whisper it, I live as though He stole what I consider rightly mine: Happiest children, marriage of unending bliss, long, content, death-defying days. I look in the mirror, and if I'm fearlessly blunt - what I have, who I am, where I am, how I am, what I've got - this simply isn't enough. That forked tongue darts and daily I live the doubt, look at my reflection, and ask: Does God really love me? If He truly, deeply loves me, why does He withhold that which I believe will fully nourish me? Why do I live in this sense of rejection, of less than, of pain? Does He not want me to be happy?" One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp page 15

Seeking Treasure

2011-01-21T22:38:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about substituting the Treasure Island Triathlon instead of The one at Almaden Lake. Supposedly Treasure Island is pretty flat, compared to a nice big hill on the Almaden Lake bike ride, and I think I'd rather face bay water instead of the lakes's duck poop water.

:-)

I still have another few months to decide before the rates go up for the Treasure Island sprint triathlon. I can confidently say that (if I don't have to stop.... stopping makes me fall) I can pedal (not well) for 12 miles. I can swim for 500 meters or yards or whatever they are. But I can't yet run 3 miles.

I'm working on it. I really loathe running.....

That's Life

2011-01-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

My pastor embarked on a new series last week titled "That's Life" on the lessons in Ecclesiastes. My first thought was apprehension; Ecclesiastes isn't really a "feel good" inspiring type of book, but his message was wonderful and in my own reading of the text and commentary I discovered I like Ecclesiastes. I love questions and thoughts on the meaning of life. It was a wonderful message that ultimately seemed to be saying that the meaning of life is not in a title (who you are) and not in knowing more, but that true meaning is found in what Jesus did.

A week ago I volunteered to help in the church office. I wasn't sure what that would mean or look like, but I so desire to help out and be valuable.... though I have to admit, there's a part of me that is questioning this. Am I doing it for the right motives? Will I actually find some type of satisfaction in doing this, or is it going to end up meaningless because I'm doing it not for God, but just to be considered valuable?

Today I sat in the office to be brought up to speed on what is expected of me. It was possibly the most demoralizing thing I've done in a long time. I know so little, feel so over my head, and so scared of messing up and making a mistake and doing it wrong. On top of that, there's the nagging despair of knowing that I'd never be chosen to do this job; I'm only a part of it because I am a volunteer and will work for free. I'm a last choice. It is hard for me to get past this. So instead of feeling good and valued, I feel even less so.

I was chatting with a friend of mine who has done ministry and worked in an office before. As a word of caution, he said to me, "you know, they'll take as much as they can get from you. You have to set boundaries because no one will consider your needs and schedule. That's ministry." and it saddened me. Ironically, is "that ministry?" My husband works for a large corporation and he's echoed pretty much the same words to me as well about his corporate job." They'll never tell you to go home. They'll work you as long and as hard as they can." Perhaps ministry and Real LIfe are not altogether different?

I don't feel I'm actually "in ministry" though I guess when I really think about it, isn't every Christian "In ministry" the moment we become a Christ follower? And I waffle between being a volunteer as "noble" thing or if it is a "worthless" thing.... I'm only a volunteer, I'm not all that important. Or am I?

Regardless, I have to admit to being overwhelmed and cautious, knowing that if I look at this as a "job" that will fulfill me I was of course be disappointed. I have a desire to serve, but is it out of a genuine love for God and a passion for His Church, or is it to make me feel good and worthwhile, and will this worsen or better my motives and desire?

Then there's the other part: I hate failure, I hate to disappoint and I know that failure is inevitable. It is so easy to criticize and find all the flaws and mistakes, and I'm usually the one that points out the misspellings and misinformation..... and here I'll be in the place of making those mistakes and having someone like me point them out. And I have to admit, it will kill me. I hate making mistakes.

I want to help. I pride myself in being faithful and I will do this and fight to do it well, but I know that I have bitten off more than I can chew. I don't know photoshop. There really is so much I don't know. I hate answering phones, I have a squeaky 12 year old voice, and I don't want to be representative of the Church office. I don't want that burden. Even when I go to conferences I have a hard time stating where I go to church... because I don't want them to think I'm typical of the type of person that attends my church. I just don't like to mess up. I'm not polished and I don't think on my feet easily. I could go on and on.

Yes, my rambling and unedited thoughts on display for everyone to see. I will take King Solomon's lead and journey into this as an "experiment" but with him as my guide and heeding his advice that without Christ, all this is folly and meaningless. (Vanity of Vanities!) If I can try to keep ministry and service to Christ in the forefront, I think I'll be okay.

Why is it so hard to do though? I can't help but crave the approval of others.

I like this quote

2011-01-21T15:36:00.001-08:00

"Give yourself to the Church. You that are members of the Church have not found it perfect and I hope that you feel almost glad that you have not. If I had never joined a Church till I had found one that was perfect, I would never have joined one at all!
And the moment I did join it, if I had found one, I should have spoiled it, for it would not have been a perfect Church after I had become a member of it. Still, imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us…

All who have first given themselves to the Lord, should, as speedily as possible, also give themselves to the Lord’s people. How else is there to be a Church on the earth? If it is right for anyone to refrain from membership in the Church, it is right for everyone, and then the testimony for God would be lost to the world!
As I have already said, the Church is faulty, but that is no excuse for your not joining it, if you are the Lord’s. Nor need your own faults keep you back, for the Church is not an institution for perfect people, but a sanctuary for sinners saved by Grace, who, though they are saved, are still sinners and need all the help they can derive from the sympathy and guidance of their fellow Believers.

The Church is the nursery for God’s weak children where they are nourished and grow strong. It is the fold for Christ’s sheep—the home for Christ’s family.” -- C. Spurgeon

Book Thoughts -- Soul Print

2011-01-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

Since I have read a few of Mark Batterson's other books, I looked forward to reading his newest, Soul Print: Discovering Your Divine Destiny. I was happy he described it as not another self-help book and that "self-help is nothing more than idolatry dressed up in a rented tuxedo." (page 2) Yet certain parts still seemed a bit like that to me.

Personally, this is an area that I struggle with. Identity in Christ, being content in who I am, forgiving myself for past mistakes, etc, so this book wasn't an easy read for me. I know we're all unique and made in the Image of God, but I often find myself asking why God made some folks "better" than myself.

On page 3 in the introduction Mr. Batterson writes,

"I'm not sure where you're at in your journey of self-discovery. Maybe you're on the front end, trying to figure out who you are. Maybe you're on the back end, trying to remember who you were meant to be. Or maybe you're somewhere in between, trying to close the gap between who you are and who you want to be. No matter where you are, I want you to experience the joy of discovering who you are and the freedom of discovering who you're not. It won't be easy. ANd there are no shortcuts. But if you are breathing, God hasn't given up on you yet. So don't give up on yourself. Let this promise soak into your spirit, because it will energize your reading: it's never too late to be who you might have been." Page 3.

He then goes on to write about self-discovery and how hard yet rewarding it is, and admonishes us to be more like ourselves. I guess that is the fun part... discovering what the true self is, and of course, refining it and becoming better at it. He also uses several stories from Scripture, such as David, Samuel and others.

The part that hit me the most was the chapter called "The Crags of the Wild Goats." I oftentimes am bogged down in regret and his words at the end of this chapter were interesting to hear:

"Most of us spend our lives trying to prove ourselves to people, when all we have to do is prove ourselves to God. That is the key to your integrity and the key to your destiny. You don't have to prove yourself to people, because God is your almighty advocate. And if you live with integrity, then God will not only prove Himself to you; He will also prove you to others. The greatest freedom is realizing that you don't have to prove anything to anyone except God Himself. And that revelation is what made David a man after God's own heart.

Maybe it's time to quit taking the credit so you can quit taking the blame. Maybe it's time to quit proving yourself to epople and start proving yourself to God. Maybe it's time to quit building monuments to self and start building alters to God." (page 89)

There is much to this book to like, and much to wrestle with if you have doubts like I do. It is a very encouraging book and I enjoyed reading it.

Note: Per the FTC Guidelines, I am disclosing that I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.

Book Thoughts -- Defiant Joy

2011-01-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

I so enjoy G.K Chesterton's writings, so I was thrilled to see this biography, Defiant Joy: The Remarkable Life and Impact of G.K. Chesterton by Kevin Belmonte. It was a solid, good biography, but left me wanting more. I felt I was enticed and had a good general foundation of Mr. Chesterton, and I enjoyed the many excerpts of his writing and what his contemporaries thought of him, but I longed to learn a bit more.

If you are unfamiliar with G.K. Chesterton, I'm sure this book will make you want to read his original writings in full. Even if you are familiar with him, I bet you will want to go back and re-read some of G.K. Chesterton's classics in a new light and appreciation.

I received this book free from Nelson Publishing in exchange for an honest opinion about the book.

The Longest Day

2011-01-16T15:19:00.000-08:00

Sundays are now my Longest Days. I enjoy the Saturday night service that my church is now doing, but there's a small part of me that misses Church on Sundays.

Nothing happens on Sunday. On Saturday I'll be invited a a few kids birthday parties, and a myriad of other events, but on Sunday it is all silence.

Now, I like silence, except since I have 3 kids there is rarely ever TRUE silence.

I'd never leave my church just because it moved to a different time or day, but I miss the interaction I have on Sundays. Saturdays seem like a whirlwind.... trying to get so much done, invited to so many events and Sunday is still and slow.

Maybe I just need more time to get used to it.

My New Church

2011-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

I go to a new church. It focuses on transformation. It is welcoming to everyone, people of all types and backgrounds. The music is good and this morning, very inspirational. The speaker's message was relevant and life applicable, translating easily to my life and how I can grow and be a better person. I felt a connection with those around me, knowing we were sharing the same experiences and life together; a common purpose.

I left energized, refreshed, and at peace.

The only thing missing was God. And that sounds horrible, until I mention that my "church" was a spin class at the gym.

It is so strange how it works, but I enter and I am greeted. All people of all abilities are welcome, but we'll all be challenged. Today I met a new instructor. I've now attended several spin classes with a total of 4 instructors.

R is a bubbly extroverted personality. I think that she attracts a following because I've now been to two of her classes and they are always packed. She knows people by name, and even knows their stories and weekend plans. She has a lot of commentary during her songs, her shrill laugh and voice penetrating the music thanks to a headset. She makes us work, hard. She reveals tidbits about herself, her life, favorite bands, people, TV, etc. She's always smiling.

L. I've only met once. She seemed more genuine than R and more down to business. She also knew her "flock" but welcomed new folks, encouraging them to stay on the path of wellness. She spoke easily but with purpose. I liked her class, and she took the time to come visit with me prior to spin and helped me set up my bike, pulling the straps of my pedals tight.

D. is my pastor. It was the first spin class I took and remains the hardest. Not sure if it is because I try harder in it, or because the music he plays (I really do try to keep up with the music). There's not a lot of talk or chit chat except that commands spoken rather forcefully. Though he obviously knows the Back Row of the class well (most of us attend his church) he keeps the personal interaction to a minimum.

And finally, M. This is where I realized that I now attend a new church. Surprisingly, it wasn't in my pastor's class. Today I was welcomed by M, and the gathering began. Much like my "real" church, folks staggered in late, but it began on time. The music all had a theme and a message, and the speaker/instructor was quite motivational, talking about ways to change our life, based on the song playing. She told us that we are control of our lives, and every decision and choice we make counts, so choose wisely. She encouraged us to believe in ourself, think positively and be open to opportunities in life. She told us we were empowered and could do anything, be anything we wanted. We just had to follow through with our choices. We can change the world through changing ourselves. She even told us how to do that, by little steps that will result in big changes, focusing on our purpose in life and our own importance.

Then we stretched, found our center, and filed out to go home. (or the treadmill)

What do I look for in church? Community? I can get that at the gym. Purpose? Well, if my purpose is myself, I can also get that by working out at the gym. Helping and changing the world? My gym, with the other locations, collected over 2,500 running shoes and is sending them to people in need in India and Guatemala. A great, life-changing inspiring message? I can easily get that at the gym. Friendships? Gym. And God? Well, I'm told you can find God anywhere.

Now, before you think that I'm serious, let me tell you that the reason I love my real church so much, (not the gym) is because It is so much more than what I mentioned here. I love my church because it is so different than my gym experience. The songs are not so much inspirational, as much as they are centered around the magnificence of God our Creator. The message my pastor prepares is definitely "relevant' and "life applicable" but it also is centered on what Christ has already done for us, and our response to that is life changing and transformational. No "7 easy steps" to achievement,... more like an act of surrender.
The community I have at my church is growing. We're all so different and yet the common bond of loving Jesus is strong. I have certain folks I spend more time with than others. I have friendships at church but that's not the reason I go to church.

I love my church because it loves God and shows us how to love God. Not just by songs or teaching.... it shows me how to love God by loving others. Both inside and outside of the churchs' walls. And it is not easy for me to love others, but the more I learn and grow and be around others, the more I see Christ in them. I love my church because my church honors God in its purpose.

Purpose. It's not all about me. I think it is. At the gym, it seems to be. But I love that my church's purpose is to glorify God and helps me to glorify God too.

The Liturgical Year: The Spiraling Adventure of the Spiritual Life

2011-01-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

I read The Liturgical Year: The Spiraling Adventure of the Spirit, by Joan Chittister. I was looking forward to it because I wanted to know more about that. When I attended a Presbyterian church they observed certain parts of the liturgical year and I enjoyed participating in Ash Wednesday, Lent and Advent, so I was looking forward to learning more about that.

I found this book a bit dry and not as in depth as I would've liked, but still a good introduction. It did not compel me to want to seek out observing the liturgical year and it still left me with questions.

Note: Per the FTC Guidelines, I am disclosing that I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Thomas Nelson.

Philippians 1:1-6

2011-01-03T00:29:00.000-08:00

1 Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ
Jesus, to all the saints in Christ
Jesus who are at Philippi, with the
overseers and deacons:
2 Grace to you and peace from god our
Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 i thank my god in all my
remembrance of you,
4 always in every prayer of mine for you
all making my prayer with joy,
5 because of your partnership in the
gospel from the first day until now.
6 and I am sure of this, that he who
began a good work in you will bring
it to completion at the day of Jesus
Christ.

For the Record

2011-01-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted and kept track of my time at the gym, but rest assured, I've still been going. The past few weeks have been a bit chaotic, but I hope to get into more of a routine now that the kids are in school again.

Jan. 1: Went to a morning spin class. It was an hour! An hour is so much more than 45 minutes But I finished it. Later that day I went with my friend back to the gym, did about 30 minutes on the treadmill (my HR was so high! I've no idea why its always so high!) Then some weights. I'm quite sore today. I don't like weights.

Jan. 2nd. Wanted to go for a bike ride with David but went to Costco instead so I could make soup for dinner. Decided to go the gym but there was only an hour before it closed. Went anyways and did the treadmill for nearly an hour, until the place closed. Felt good. I realize I need a class to really push me, otherwise I just do things at my own comfort level.

It is my goal that I can stay disciplined in both my eating habits and workout routine. I have plotted out all the spin classes that I can attend. (a total of five a week) Now I just have to stick with it and not sabotage my eating! (so easy to do)

Tomorrow: A bike ride and possibly swim! Looking forward to it.

Book Thoughts - Chazown

2011-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

I heard Craig Groeschel speak at WIllow Creek Leadership Summit last summer, so when I saw Chazown, I knew I wanted to read it.

This will be a hard book to explain my thoughts, because this book is really geared for someone that wants to change and is motivated to do the exercises and things suggested in the book. Merely reading it cover to cover really isn't enough, and yet, I'm not quite ready to embrace "defining my vision. Pursue my passion. And Live my Life on Purpose" as the subtitle suggests. So maybe this wasn't the book for me to read, because I'm a skeptic when it comes to change. There's so much I don't understand about God and how he changes us, it is completely a mystery to me, and in these pages, Mr. Groeschel goes though many aspects of vision, passion and purpose. He lists personal experiences as well as other's experiences. There are diagrams and things that make so much sense and yet I still felt defeated reading this. It seems to say that anyone can find their purpose and gifts and follow God in a unique, vibrant way, and he might be right. I don't know because I did not engage in the things he suggests. But what he writes makes sense..... thinking on your core values, spiritual gifts, and past experiences to discover your unique part that God has for you that will fulfill you and fill you with purpose that is a joy to do daily.

If you are eager to embark on such a journey and spend some time in prayer and reflection, then this might be a life-changing book for you. If you are weary and tired and still a skeptic of what God can do by you and through you, you might want to hold off reading this book until you are able to really listen to what he has to say.

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

Thoughts on The Quotable Chesterton

2011-01-02T13:42:00.001-08:00

G.K. Chesterton is a thought-provoking writer that is said to have inspired C.S. Lewis with his book The Everlasting Man. I have several Chesterton books on my shelf and his works are quite varied but equally magnificent. His Father Brown mysteries are the most accessible of his works, but he is also well known for his book Orthodoxy. This book I received was a compilation of quotes from many of his books. It is called The Quotable Chesterton

G.K. Chesterton's books are full of wonderful quotes, so it is doubly delightful to see them catalogued here in one book. For those that know and have read Chesterton, this book will be a delight, for those that don't, I hope this will inspire them to read the books these quotes originate from to better appreciate them.

Here's some of my favorite quotes I've had through the years:
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”—G. K. Chesterton

“There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.” —G. K. Chesterton

“The aim of life is appreciation; there is no sense in not appreciating things; and there is no sense in having more of them if you have less appreciation of them.”—G. K. Chesterton

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”—G. K. Chesterton

“You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.”—G. K. Chesterton

“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”—G. K. Chesterton

"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." -- G. K. Chesterton

The New York Times (Ross Douthat) did an opinion article on Chesterton several months ago and stated this:

"Part of what makes Chesterton appealing to so many readers is also what makes him frustrating if you approach his writing looking for straightforward, syllogistic argument — namely, that his appeals on behalf of Christianity (or any other cause) tend to rove from history to philosophy to intuition to revelation to politics to aesthetics and then back to history again, with all different sorts of arguments crowding in together, and no necessary A=B=C thread to follow all the way through. He is not an “irrationalist,” as Bramwell suggests, but he isn’t Plato either. But then again neither are most people: They justify what they believe, whether it’s about God or political order or love or any other aspect of human affairs, based on a mishmash of different facts, ideas, experiences, premises, impulses, and so forth. And Chesterton succeeds as a polemicist, if not as a philosopher, because his style of argument fits so well with this very common, and very natural, way of human thought."

I think most anyone would find great value and though in this book, and it is well worth having it on your bookshelf.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

There Is a Difference

2011-01-02T10:17:00.001-08:00

I'm training for a triathlon. I've spent the last several months at the gym, attempting to get in shape.

I'm still not in shape, but I'm definitely better. Before I could barely swim 2 laps and now I can do about 40. I started a spin class right after Thanksgiving and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm getting better there too, as before I couldn't stand up and now I can. (barely)

I still have a long way to go.... I can't even run a quarter of a mile yet. I'm scared of taking out my new road bike.... those thin wheels, the clip-in pedals.... the fact that crashing is inevitable and this bike is twice the cost of my first car, a used 1967 Mustang.

I've never been an athlete; I'll never be an athlete. There is a difference between a triathlete and someone who has participated in a triathlon. I thought that maybe if I did an international distance tri that it will make me feel more "real" but I've come to the conclusion that it won't. I'll be able to say I did it, but will never be able to say I'm an athlete or a triathlete, no matter how many races I attempt. I don't belong in this group.

Yet, I am committed to doing this small sprint. It looks like my friend and I have chosen to do the Silicon Valley Sprint Triathlon. David warns me that there is one steep hill section on the bike, but that I can do it. (If I practice!) He still sounds dubious.

Or maybe I'm not yet committed.... I still haven't registered and paid my money. But I must do this. Not sure exactly why I must except that I said I would and feel I must. But if I am hoping this makes me any better, or a real triathlete, I already know that I'm mistaken. Nothing will change who I am,, no accomplishment, no amount of effort or outward change of appearance will change who I am. And athlete I am not.

Religion

2010-12-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

"Religion is our negotiation with God to try to get his help in exchange for our good behavior. WE promise to do what we're told, and we expect God to reward us. This is a straightforward business arrangement, and we fully expect it to work. Meanwhile, we talk about being God's child as if we're family. But in our performance-for-reward arrangement, things don't operate on grace. Under the rules of religion, God is kept at arm's length and expected to be involved only to the degree that he gives us what we think we deserve.

The contrast between relationship and religion is obvious: beloved son or begrudging slave? We all would prefer the former, and we resent that the church has given us religion that leads to the latter. But even if you have left the church, it's unlikely that you left this chapter of the story. Humans are religious by nature, and our natural attraction to religion causes us to manufacture a god that operates according to our sense of right and wrong. Our god is glad to negotiate with us and on our terms."

Michael Spencer, Mere Churchianity

Confession of an Elder Brother

2010-12-26T22:25:00.001-08:00

Have you read Tim Keller's The Prodigal God? It is simply a must-read book, especially if you struggle with grace as I do. I haven't read The Prodigal God, but if I recall correctly Tim Keller writes that this parable, often called "The Prodigal Son" is not just about the wayward son, but also about the elder brother, and even God himself.

One quote that has stuck with me is this: There are two ways to be your own Savior and Lord,. One is by breaking all the moral laws and setting your own course, and one is by keeping all the moral laws and being very, very good."

I identify with the "being very good." I strive to be very good. I want to be liked. I want to do the right things. I have spent most of my life doing the right things.

And yet, it bothers me like crazy when someone that has made wrong, bad choices, is looked upon more favorably than I am. I am such an elder brother! I'm mad and upset, but most of all hurt. How can I do everything "right" and yet it doesn't matter?

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T00:41:00.001-08:00

"It came without ribbon! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags! And he puzzled three hours 'till his puzzler was sore, then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."

How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

Please Pray

2010-12-24T10:31:00.001-08:00

Another post asking you to join me in prayer for this sweet baby. Today could very well be a most difficult day for the Parkins Family. Please, pray for baby Samuel! Pray for this family no matter what happens. I am linking you to the LOTH blog and post on Talking To Father. It is heart breaking and joyful at the same time.

It is Christmas Eve. A day of merriment, anticipation, love, peace.... and joy.

Joy.

A few moments ago I posted this quote by Ray Ortlund Jr. "Isn't it interesting how in Christmas cards and on public displays we often see the words, 'Peace on earth, good will toward men'? But how seldom we see the prior words, 'Glory to God in the highest!' But there is no peace, there is no good will, unless there is glory to God in the highest first. We forget to put God's glory first. Fortunately, he does not. God will be glorified." -- Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr

Last night I also read a blog post from the Desiring God blog, titled "An Open Letter to Clarence the Angel" by Michael Johnson says this:

"Does following Jesus mean one will have a wonderful life? Instead, Jesus promises a joyfullife, even amidst significant suffering. In theological language, to expect a wonderful life now is to have an over-realized eschatology. We’re living between two worlds, the now and the not yet.

In other words, Clarence, the reason this isn’t a wonderful life (in the Capra-esque way)—even for the redeemed—is for this simple reason: Life this side of glory is not the way it’s supposed to be—even for George Bailey."

It is so easy to confuse joy with happiness, and yet, in this story of baby Samuel, all the accounts resonate with joy, hope and a longing to see God glorified in everything. He is faithful but my heart still breaks for the Parkins family. Please continue holding them up in prayer.

Living in God's Mercy

2010-12-24T10:25:00.000-08:00

Living in God's Mercy - Dec. 24

"We cannot approach the manger of the Christ child in the same way we approach the cradle of another child. Rather, when we go to this manger, something happens, and we cannot leave it again unless we have been judged or redeemed. Here we must either collapse or know the mercy of God directed toward us.

What does that mean? Isn't all of this just a way of speaking? Isn't it just pastoral exaggeration of a pretty and pious legend? What does it mean that such things are said about the Christ child? Those who want to take it as a way of speaking will do so and continue to celebrate Advent and Christmas as before, with pagan indifference. For us it is not just a way of speaking. For that's just it: it is God himself, the Lord and Creator of all things, who is so small here, who is hidden here in the corner, who enters into the plainness of the world, who meets us in the helplessness and defenselessness of a child, and wants to be with us. And he does this not out of playfulness or sport, because we find that so touching, but in order to show us where he is and who he is, and in order from this place to judge and devalue and dethrone all human ambition.

The throne of God in the world is not on human thrones, but in human depths, in the manger. Standing around his throne there are no flattering vassals but dark, unknown questionable figures who cannot get their fill of this miracle and want to live entirely by the mercy of God. "

D. Bonhoeffer I Want to Live These Days With You

Glory to God In the Highest

2010-12-24T10:23:00.000-08:00

‎"Isn't it interesting how in Christmas cards and on public displays we often see the words, 'Peace on earth, good will toward men'? But how seldom we see the prior words, 'Glory to God in the highest!' But there is no peace, there is no good will, unless there is glory to God in the highest first. We forget to put God's glory first. Fortunately, he does not. God will be glorified." -- Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.

Juxtaposition

2010-12-24T00:40:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here and it is after midnight. I just spent the last few hours happily buying last minute gifts for family and friends. I want to sit down and wrap them, but I'm a computer addict so I have to log into the internet to see what I missed. Oh, who am I kidding? I missed nothing; I have an iPhone! But I love my Macbook and have to tend to it.

Before I go to my usual "haunts" I see a tweet from a guy I've never met but I follow and he follows me. It is a retweet and a plea to pray for baby Samuel. So I go to the LOTH blog which has been one of my familiar, always-checking blogs of late.

And I cry.

Please pray for baby Samuel and the Parkins family. Go to the website and read about baby Samuel. Such a touching, sad and amazing blog post.

"Whether God gives, or God takes away, we will still praise the name of the Lord. We will always praise God for these incredible two weeks where we have seen God’s glory shine through the life of a little boy who has been used to soften and change hearts."

I'm inspired and in awe of the faith of this family. I'm in awe of God, yet filled with questions. Please pray for Samuel and his family.

Thank you.

The Mysterious, Invisible Authority

2010-12-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

The Mysterious, Invisible Authority

"The authority of this poor child will grow." (Isa. 9:7) It will encompass all the earth, and knowingly or unknowingly, all human generations until the end of the ages will have to serve it. It will be an authority over the hearts of people, but thrones and great kingdoms will also grow strong or fall apart with this power. the mysterious, invisible authority of the divine child over human hearts is more solidly grounded then the visible and resplendent power of earthly rulers. Ultimately all authority on earth must serve only the authority of Jesus Christ over humankind.

With the birth of Jesus, the great kingdom of peace has begun. Is it not a miracle that where Jesus has really become Lord over people, peace reigns? That there is one Christendom on the whole earth, in which there is peace in the midst of the world? Only where Jesus is not allowed to reign - where human stubbornness, defiance, hate, and avarice are allowed to live on unbroken - can there be no peace. Jesus does not want to set up his kingdom of peace by force, but where people willingly submit themselves to him and let him rule over them, he will give them his wonderful peace."

D. Bonhoeffer, I Want To Live These Days With You

Nelson's Biblical Cycopedic Index

2010-12-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

I've always enjoyed Bible aids and helps. When I was in high school I'd save my money to buy concordances and other things to aid in my Bible study, so when I saw this book, Nelson's Biblical Cyclopedic Index, I thought I'd enjoy it.

I did enjoy this book. It is about 500 pages and contains a lot of information, and I'm happy to have it on my shelf. Oftentimes I'll use online tools and I like the ease of going to my favorite spots online, but I do think I'll still use this book.

It is easy to use, informative and I'm happy to have it on my bookshelf, but I do wonder how many others will use Bible software instead of this reference book. Nevertheless, this is a great tool at a good price. If you are serious about studying your Bible, you will enjoy having this as a resource tool.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

Please Keep Praying

2010-12-20T21:47:00.001-08:00

I put this on my Facebook page tonight, posted a link to the LOTH Blog where I read every day about Samuel Parkins. Facebook is such a strange thing; I don't know why more folks don't comment or repost things: here's a little baby in need of prayers! Cute and tiny; beautiful. How can you not want to do everything to help him? And what he needs is prayer. Such a simple thing and yet so powerful.

So I'm praying. And asking others to pray too. I expect my church to pray. We were sent an email asking to pray for baby Samuel. But tonight another friend posted that the LOTH blog I linked made her think of her own baby growing inside her. A baby that they've tried for years. A baby that came after numerous miscarriages.

She understood and I think she's praying more fervently than I am. For me, there is a shared experience of hospitals and a child that is suffering, even though I wasn't a parent but a child. For Sara, she feels it as an expectant mother, whose son's future is still completely unknown to her.

It is easier for me to quote others about God than to speak about him from my own heart and experience. As I was re-reading my account of movies and my brother, I realized: where's God in this narrative? He was there. I can tell you stories of comfort and beauty; of community and support. Of love and comfort. And yet.... my account is one of disconnectedness.

But I saw God there. Even there, in the midst of pain, confusion and loneliness. It is just hard to talk about, which is probably one of the reasons I so enjoy reading the account of the Parkins' family. Because their faith and hope is so beautifully articulated. Part of me wishes that my family had the strong faith the Parkins family does.

Please pray for baby Samuel. He had surgery today but still has much to face. I love his story. I love this baby. Here's the LOTH Blog where you can learn more.

God Became A Child

2010-12-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

God Became a Child

"Mighty God" (Isa. 9:6) is the name of this child. The child in the manger is none other than God himself. Nothing greater can be said: God became a child. In the Jesus child of Mary lives the almighty God. Wait a minute! Don't speak; stop thinking! Stand still before this statement! God became a child! Here he is, poor like us, miserable and helpless like us, a person of flesh and blood like us, our brother. And yet he is God; he is might. Where is the divinity, where is the might of the child? In the divine love in which he became like us. His poverty in the manger is his might. In the might of love he overcame the chasm between God and humankind, he overcomes sin and death, he forgives sin and awakens from the dead. Kneel down before this miserable manger, before this child of poor people, and repeat in faith the stammering words of the prophet: "Mighty God!" And he will be your God and your might."

D. Bonhoeffer, I Want to Spend These Days With You

I Forgot

2010-12-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

December 1st. This perhaps was one of the first years I'd so completely forgotten that my 6 year old brother died on this day, many years ago. I almost can't help but remember his birthday and the day he died; especially the day he died. But this year, December 1st meant Christmas and decorations and Gabriel the Elf and the beginning of chocolate Advent calendars from Trader Joe's. It's been only now that I realized I'd forgotten.

And yet, I guess one never really forgets and all it takes is some silly reference or memory and it feels and seems and even smells and tastes just like it did so long ago. I've posted about baby Samuel and praying for him on this blog, and I'm reminded of how I hate sickness and kids with illness. And of course, that would bother anyone.

Ironically, it is movies that hold such a strong emotional tie for me. I recall standing in line to see Star Wars. And of course, all the sequels. In fact, I think that was my dad's favorite pastime with us, our family outing: going to the movies. Is it ironic or predictable that whenever I have a "date night" with my husband we rarely go to a movie? Movies, to me, are in a strange category: you go you sit in the same room as another, right next to them. There's the appearance of spending time with one another but it was rarely fulfilling. You go, you sit, you leave.

I'm always left wanting more.

There are two movies that are forever branded in my mind. They are forever blurred with different emotions, experiences that really don't belong to the movie but have been transferred there. They say movies and television are a way of escaping reality. That even when the economy is down, things like amusement parks or small luxuries makes you "forget" the bad. A small indulgence to make one feel better.

The Man From Snowy River is one of the movies on my "Branded forever in my mind" list and not because it was such a great, meaningful movie. I think we saw it when my brother was very sick; not sure if he was with us or in the hospital, but I remember needing to escape; to numb the reality that couldn't be numbed. I remember sitting there in silence, all of us, a row of silent, hurting people pretending it was all okay. And then later talking about the beautiful scenery and shots. Just feeling numb and knowing we'd be going back to reality: the reality that my brother was still sick and dying and there was nothing we could do.

The following year, we saw A Christmas Story. Again, at Christmas time. I think this was just weeks after my brother died. Such an awkward attempt at being a family and being together like it was all okay and it would be okay. It is such a great movie and always makes me laugh, but there's a sadness there too. I'll never be able to watch A Christmas Story without thinking of my brother; he looked so much like Ralphie, especially when he took off his glasses during the fight scene. My mom exclaimed that night he looked just like my brother. Just like him.

So when I watched A Christmas Story last night with my friend Ellyn and my kids with their pillow pets, blankets and popcorn, talking throughout much of it, I couldn't help but think of the awkwardness, silence, sadness and forced conversation so long ago as we struggled to connect together after such a tragedy. What to say? We're all grieving. So we say nothing.

Contrast that to my experience last night! With popcorn on the floor, kids talking and a story so familiar that it doesn't matter if you hear the words of the movie; you know it all by heart anyways. Instead of silence, and solemnity, there is laughter We're not in a dark movie theatre but I like it better here in the light.

And I am grateful. Thankful that I have 3 adorable kids who talk through movies and drive me crazy. Grateful that they are healthy! Grateful there is no silence and we can talk and converse, ask questions and speak freely.

Believe it or not, I still laugh at A Christmas Story; how could I not? But at this time, Christmas, when we think of family and togetherness, I realize a bit of the disconnectedness in my life and wish it was different, yet still thankful. I wish things were different, but I also know there is much to be thankful for. And I'm thankful this Christmas and reminded of how much my family means to me and how I want to stay connected with them; all of them. David and the kids. No matter what.

The Great Turning Point of All Things

2010-12-19T17:56:00.000-08:00

The Great Turning Point of All Things - December 18

"The topic here is the birth of a child - not the revolutionary deed of a strong man, not the bold discovery of a wise person, not the godly work of a saint. It really goes beyond all comprehension: the birth of a child is supposed to lead to the great turning point of all things and to bring the salvation and redemption of all humanity. What kings and leaders of nations, philosophers, and artists, founders of religions and teachers of morals have tried in vain to do - that now happens through a newborn child. Putting to shame the most powerful human efforts and accomplishments, a child is placed here at the midpoint of world history- a child born of human beings, a son given by God (Isa 9:6). That is the mystery of redemption of the world; everything past and everything future is encompassed here. The infinite mercy of the almighty God comes to us, descends to us in the form of a child, his Son. That his child is born for us this son is given to us, that this human child and Son of God belongs to me, that I know him, have him, love him, that I am his and he is mine - on this alone my life now depends. A child has our life in his hands....

A shaking of heads, perhaps even an evil laugh, must go through our old, smart, experienced, self-assured world, when it hears the call of salvation of believing Christians: "For a child has been born for us, a son given to us."

-D. Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days With You, page 369

Love Came Down

2010-12-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

Love Came Down from Brian Johnson on Vimeo.

I love this; we sang it tonight at church and though I've heard it now for about a year, it was so meaningful singing it in church with others instead of just on my iPod. Not sure what the "real" version is but I love this one by Brian Johnson, and not just because I have a pastor friend that is on staff at Bethel.

Just Once

2010-12-17T17:11:00.000-08:00

Christmas Cards. I've always been an ardent letter-writer and have used any excuse in the past to correspond with others, and even with the shift towards email, evite, facebook, and all that, I still enjoy sending Christmas Cards through the mail. At Christmas, I have the opportunity to send cards to folks that I care about but don't spend time with, or even talk to, yet still want them somewhat in my life.

There's one family that sends me a Christmas card every year, telling me a bit about their family and how things are with them. The odd part? I've only met them once, under quite stressful and sad circumstances.

Several years ago, when we had only one child, David was into windsurfing and met a guy. He was a single guy whose family all lived several towns away, so we hung out with him, invited him to dinners, and of course, David enjoyed windsurfing and other sports with him. He was a quiet guy but when you got to know him, you realized he was funny and extremely smart. I did not know him all that well, just through David, but I liked him. We knew him maybe a year and one day got a phone call from one of his friends.

Turned out, unbeknownst to us, he suffered from depression. One night it was particularly bad and he was with his family who called the hospital who advised him that, since there was no psychiatrist on call at the hospital in the evening, that the best course of action would be have him come to the hospital in the morning.

Unfortunately, he killed himself that night. I can't even imagine how hard it was for his parents; the "what-ifs" and "should-haves" and the "if I could do it all over again." I can't fathom their grief, and our own as we realized our helplessness not just to help him, but to even know that he was so depressed.

I don't understand much about depression. People have tried to explain it to me, and sometimes I wonder if I get depressed too but it always seems so different from the hopelessness that others feel, so perhaps I still don't understand. I've been told that it's chemical and that a person can't "make" themselves better. I am still clueless about depression, the best way to help a person and suicide, despite knowing several friends growing up that have attempted it.

In a way, I find it so odd that this family and I cling to such a thin thread of friendship; I almost wonder if it is needed, to keep their son's memory a part of their life...... mutual friends, others that mourn him, a way of saying We Have Not Forgotten. Sometimes I almost wish I could forget! I wonder if it is painful to address that Christmas Card to us; or if it is a relief. I wonder if we'll ever see this older couple again, as we read about their newest grandchild and where their other kids live.

I wonder if they have found peace. I wonder if they've forgiven themselves, or if they ever blamed themselves. I know I would've. I wonder how they got through this; if it was their faith or their friends. I wonder a lot, and I don't think Ill ever get any answers. I'd be too afraid to ask. It is best to just stick to the safe subjects.

But I've not forgotten and I still don't understand, and I still have a love for this family and I know that every year, they will send me a Christmas Card and I them, and when it ends, I'll miss that.

Walking to School

2010-12-15T21:40:00.001-08:00

I enjoy walking my youngest to school every day. Today we were running late, so I was urging Katie to run and hurry up. I must've said it with a lot of stress evident in my voice, because Katie looks at me, and says, "Don't worry, Mom! All you have to do is pray about it and it will be okay." And to that, I still insisted, no, you still have to run! We'll be late if we don't run. And again, she insisted that if we prayed it would all work out okay. Then she said, "I pray a lot at school."

Ah, the faith of a child and the cynicism of my own hardened heart!

We weren't late for school, and we did not run the whole way. I'm sure Katie is attributing it to prayer. I almost wonder why I don't.

Thoughts on Voices of the Faithful

2010-12-15T20:55:00.000-08:00

Voices of the Faithful is a compilation of stories and accounts from missionaries all over the world, arranged throughout the year by subjects. For instance, January is God's Character, February is God's Word, and March is Prayer. I liked having the cohesiveness of a theme for the entire month. It is filled with inspirational accounts as well as uplifting stories. Some are more impactful than others, but overall it is a good book. Not sure if it is the devotional I'd choose to read every day, but it is a solid devotional that is easy to read and entertaining enough to be compelling to read daily.

I've also had the pleasure of reading Voices of the Faithful Book 2, which is similar to this book but with different stories. I thought it was also interesting and had some great stories and insights in it as well.

Overall, both Voices of the Faithful and Voices of the Faithful Book 2 would be a great Christmas gift, especially to someone who enjoys the Beth Moore connection and doesn't have a lot of time for a more in-depth devotional. Although you can start anytime, I think that most folks prefer to start a devotional in January.. I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

Thoughts on The Lucado Life Lessons Study Bible

2010-12-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

I recently received The Lucado Life Lessons Study Bible: Inspirational Applications for Living Your Faith from the Booksneeze program at Thomas Nelson. The cover is tastefully done in muted tones and a scenic sepia photo.

The translation is the NKJV, an updated version of the King James but much more readable while still retaining much of the beauty. Interspersed throughout the book are Life Lessons in the margin. A sample one is:

Situation: Some Galatian believers were in Jerusalem on Pentecost (Acts 2). They already knew that God freely gave the Holy Spirit.

Observation : Paul used Abraham's example (Genesis 15) to prove that the Old Testament believers were also saved by faith.

Inspriration: In baptism we identify with Christ. We go from tire kicker to car buyer. We step out of the shadows, point in His direction, and announce, "I'm with him."

I used to do this at the drive-in movie theatre.

Remember drive -in movies? (Kids, ask a grownup.) The one in Andrews, Texas, had a Friday night special - a carload for the price of the driver. Whether the car carried one passenger or a dozen, the price as the same. We often opted for the dozen route. The law would not allow us to do today what we did then. Shoulders squished. Little guy on the big guy's lap. The ride was miserable but the price was right. When the person at the ticket window looked in, we pointed to the driver and said, "We're with him."

God doesn't tell you to climb into Christ's car. He tells you to coimb into Christ! "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1). He is your vehicle! Baptism celebrates your decision to take a seat. "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. (Galatians 3:27, emphasis mine.) We are not saved by the act, but the act demonstrates the way we are saved. We are given credit for a perfect life we did not lead- indeed, a life we could never lead. (From Next Door Saviour by Max Lucado)

Application: Paul warned: Don't be tricked. Don't let anyone think that you must win God's approval. Rejoice that if you are God's child His love toward you is endless.

Exploration: Law's inferiority -Romans 3:19, 20; 4:13-25; 8:3; Galatians 5:3-6; Hebrews 3:1-6; 8:7-13.

Also interspersed through the book are areas where he expounds on a word or idea, such as power, love of Fruit of the Spirit and some additional verses to study and questions to answer.

I think this Bible would be good for a person who loved reading the inspirational writings of Max Lucado, or for a person who is perhaps a beginning reader of the Bible. Personally, what I look for in a "study" Bible are more study aides, references, concordance, and more in-depth introductions to the Books. Yet, there is much good in this Bible: Key Bible verses to read (and memorize?) 30 Studies for a new believer, which are much like daily devotions, etc. It seems to be a sturdy hardbound copy that states on the cover it is "guaranteed for life" and it is very appealing visually. As it is stated in the Bible's description online, this Bible is well suited as a companion to Max Lucado's newest book, Outlive Your Life

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

Please Continue Praying..... and Tell the World

2010-12-13T21:06:00.001-08:00

There is a huge soft spot in my heart for kids with sickness. On one hand, I want to ignore it and run far way from it, because it hurts and I know only too well what it is to be around sick children. It actually brings up a bevy of emotions, sights, smells and sounds that I really don't like to recall. And then, almost simultaneously, I want to do something to help and hate feeling helpless. Add to that in some ways, is it even rational to care so much for a family and a little baby I don't know and will probably never meet?

But I do. I can't help but feel tied to this little baby and his family. So today I'm once again asking you to pray for Samuel Parkins. I read the blog post and he's having a difficult time. Please, go to the Life On the Hill blog site and read the updates for baby Samuel. It is sad and uplifting and beautiful.... and so very real. It brings me to tears and yet reminds me of the goodness of God because the posts somehow always point to God's glory. I'm at a loss because I really don't think I could respond with such faith and grace in that situation. And I gravitate to this blog and to praying for this beautiful baby boy.

On the blog post yesterday, Mr. Parkins wrote, "Tell the world to pray. Tell them God hears. Tell the world that God is good and Jesus reigns, tell them that Samuel is God’s kid. Tell them we won’t be silent. Please church, we must wake up. Death has lost its sting, hell has lost its victory. Our God is alive, and He’s about doing the impossible. In fact, He’s doing it now. Tell the world."

Yes; Tell the World. And please pray for baby Samuel and family. Please.

A Love For Theology

2010-12-13T20:36:00.001-08:00

A Love for Theology - Dec. 14

"No priest, no theologian stood at the manger of Bethlehem. And yet all Christian theology has its origin in the wonder of all wonders: that God became human. Holy theology arises from knees bent before the mystery of the divine child in the stable. Without the holy night, there is no theology. "God revealed in flesh," the God-human Jesus Christ - that is the holy mystery that theology came into being to protect and preserve. How we fail to understand when we think that the task of theology is to solve the mystery of God, to drag it down to the flat, ordinary wisdom of human experience and reason! Its sole office is to preserve the miracle as miracle, to comprehend, defend, and glorify God's mystery precisely as mystery. This and nothing else, therefore, is what the early church meant when, with never flagging zeal, it dealt with the mystery of the Trinity and the person of Jesus Christ.... If Christmas time cannot ignite within us again something like a love forholy theology, so that we - captured and compelled by the wonder of the manger of the Son of God - must reverently reflect on the mysteries of God, then it must be that the glow of the divine mysteries has also been extinguished in our heart and has died out."

D. Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days With You, page 365

Respect for the Mystery

2010-12-11T12:11:00.001-08:00

I mentioned a few posts ago that I had ordered Bonhoeffer's God Is In the Manger Unfortunately, even though the company I ordered it from said "in stock" and "ships immediately" when my order arrived, it stated the book was back ordered! I was so looking forward to it! Alas, one of the other books I ordered was a compilation book of daily devotions pulled from several of Bonhoeffer's works titled I Want to Live These Days With You: A Year of Daily Devotions and I've been really enjoying the bits I've been reading day by day. I highly recommend this book of daily devotions. Some will make you think more deeply, some will encourage or inspire you, some will comfort you and others will fill you with awe even though the selections are short; a mere paragraph or two a day! I'm quite impressed by much of the selections for December and thought I'd post some of my favorites. Since I've already posted the one for today (With God there is Joy) Here is one from December 7th.

Respect for the Mystery

"The lack of mystery in our modern life is our downfall and our poverty. A human life is worth as much as the respect it holds for the mystery. We retain the child in us to the extent that we honor the mystery. Therefore, children have open, wide-awake eyes, because they know that they are surrounded by the mystery. They are not yet finished with this world; they still don't know how to struggle along and avoid the mystery, as we do. We destroy the mystery because we sense that here we reach the boundary of our being, because we want to be lord over everything and have it at our disposal, and that's just what we cannot do with the mystery... Living without mystery means knowing nothing of the mystery in our own life, nothing of the mystery of another person, nothing of the mystery of the world; it means passing over our own hidden qualities and those of others and the world. It means remaining on the surface, taking the world seriously only to the extent that it can be calculated and exploited, and not going beyond the world of calculation and exploitation. Living without mystery means not seeing the crucial processes of life at all and even denying them."

D. Bonhoeffer, I Want to Live These Days With You, page 358

Daydreams

2010-12-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

From the LOTH blog: "Also, I imagine the family can expect hefty hospital bills in the near future. If you feel led to help meet this need then Dan has asked that you consider buying his book direct from the publisher. You see, Dan himself survived 3 liver transplants and that is quite a testimony itself."

Pleas consider buying Dan Parkins' book, Daydreams through this link. It is an excellent way to be a blessing to this family, whose son Samuel is in the hospital and needs our prayers, as well as being blessed or blessing others through Dan Parkins' book.

Please Pray for Baby Samuel

2010-12-09T15:40:00.000-08:00

I became aware of this little baby last night via an email and on Facebook. Please pray for him! The family's story and faith is quite touching, and truly, God can do miracles! Please join me praying for Baby Samuel. To follow his journey, please check out the blog post HERE.

With God There Is Joy

2010-12-09T09:50:00.001-08:00

"Everlasting joy shall be upon their heads" (Isa. 35:10). Since ancient times in the Christian church, acedia - sadness of the heart, resignation - has been considered a mortal sin. "Serve the Lord with gladness!" (Ps. 100:2 RSV), urges the Scripture. For this, our life has been given to us, and for this, it has been sustained for us to this present hour. The joy that no one can take from us belongs not only to those who have been called home, but also to us who are still living. In this joy we are one with them, but never in sadness. How are we supposed to be able to help those who are without joy and courage, if we ourselves are not borne by courage and joy? What is meant here is not something made or forced, but something given and free. With God there is joy, and from him it comes down and seizes spirit, soul, and body. And where this joy has seized a person, it reaches out around itself, it pulls others along, it bursts through closed doors. There is a kind of joy that knows nothing at all of the pain, distress, and anxiety of the heart. But it cannot last; it can only numb for a time. The joy of God has gone through the poverty of the manger and the distress of the cross; therefore it is invincible and irrefutable.

D. Bonhoeffer, page 362 I Want to Live These Days With You

(Bold emphasis my own)

Frighteningly Wonderful

2010-12-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

I now own a new bike. I've not had a new bike in 16 years. I think we paid 300 dollars for my Specialized Mountain Bike when we lived in Seattle, and that bike got a lot of use there, since I did not have a car. I even had panniers so I could do carry home groceries on my bike. (Obviously I had no kids then!) We lived on Queen Anne Hill, not too far up, luckily, and later on another hill near Green Lake. I loved my bike.

This summer, after watching David and a friend do a half ironman, I decided to do a sprint triathlon. My friend, who was watching her husband also do the half IM, also decided to do one, so we are training together. She's better than I am, but very encouraging and sweet, and most of all, she keeps me from giving up, and I hope I am encouraging to her as well. I joined a gym and we've been swimming. I really can't run but we've walked and tried to run. I'm sure I'm holding her back in that area...... she can run! The next thing was bike. So last week I took a spin class that made me re-think getting a new bike but just 2 days after that class..... guess what I own?

A new road bike.

And not just any new bike; one that is way better than someone like me deserves. Carbon fiber. Mavic wheels. Clip in pedals..... ah, clip in pedals. I'm scared of them! I'm scared of tiny thin wheels. I felt nearly invincible on my mountain bike and on this bike, I'm so frightened!

So for now, it sits in the house, on a trainer. I spend about an hour a day on it, trying to get used to it. There's a part of me that wants to leave it safe in the house..... in perfect condition, not a speck of dirt on its pure white frame, no nicks, dings or scratches, and yet I know that would be a waste. It was designed to go outside and be used, not sit in perfect condition inside with no risks.

Sometimes I think it really would be easier to take no risks even in life. I don't want to get dinged up, scratched or bruised. I don't like doing things wrong, saying the wrong things, or just being open...it is a risk. And yet, isnt' that how God designed us? To be in community. It might be more risky, it might even hurt and get some scratches and bruises, but isn't it worth it?

Someday I'll have to take my bike on the road. I hope I enjoy it. It might even take some time to enjoy it, get comfortable and confident and familiar on it, but supposedly its also thrilling. I hope so.

Banquet or Concert Hall?

2010-12-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

Bifrost Arts from josh franer on Vimeo.

"I think it is important that we urge our congregants not to think of the worship service as a concert hall, as a time that we come to receive something, but to think of our worship services as a banquet hall, where we come to participate in something together."

Music is important. Several weeks ago, I came across a cute, humorous video that was a satire on Church Planting that rang a bit too close for comfort for some of my church planting friends! In it, he especially makes the point of how important a worship leader is.... because music is important!

I like to think that music isn't that important; indeed, it is not my favorite part of church, nor would I even choose a church based on worship style, but it does make a difference. Plus, it is easy for me to say that because the church I attend provides wonderful, beautiful music that is "authentic" and draws people in to worship. (Unfortunately the music pastor is also a church planter in another city, so he's our interim worship pastor.... when he leaves, we'll miss him, as he's not only provided great new songs and arrangements, but also is a integral part of our community and we all love him and his family) Anyways, all this to say is: my worship pastor is good and so is the worship team. I'm sure if I had a bad worship team or pastor I'd realize more fully how important it is!

Too often, I go into my church not as a participant, but as an observer. I listen to the music, rarely do I sing (but that is changing!) I don't want to have a "concert hall" mindset; I want to feast on the banquet and participate in praising God instead, not just consuming beautiful music. LIkewise, I'd rather my worship team also view it that way.... not mere performance, but an entering into communion with God. It seems that when they are, I also want to be there too.

How important is music in the church? How important is it to you? What do you think of churches that hire professional musicians to come and provide a top-notch worship experience? Do you think only Christian musicians should play in church? Do you think a really good worship band is necessary to attract and keep people at a church? Do you think it will draw in outsiders who don't know Christ?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Spinning in Circles

2010-12-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't have gone tonight. I was supposed to go to a Spin exercise class with 2 friends but they both had to bow out at the last minute leaving me with a dilemma: To go or not to go?

I wanted to go. I had anticipated it all week... but I was scared to go by myself.

I've never felt comfortable at a gym. I'm not strong, I'm not thin and I'm so far from perfect it is scary. I always feel that everyone else is perfect. I also hate going in to an environment where I know I'm going to fail.

So.... not sure why I still went tonight.

I nearly left....I was so out of place and knew nothing. The stationary bike was configured for someone else and I did not even know how to change it, and even if I did.... I had no idea what "ideal" looked like. My heart was pounding even before the class began. Happily, a woman from my church was there too, and even warned me that Dan's class was difficult.

That's the other part. I wasn't sure if it would be easier or harder to attend a class that was lead by my pastor, but the time worked for me (I had looked into another spin class my friend Kristin attends). I realized I was scared to go to any class and I had to get over that fear so what better than attend this class?

I was wrong, and yet..... it was okay. I just went in knowing that I knew nothing. I knew I'd be horrible at it..... and I was. I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't do anything Dan called out to do.... in fact, I was told that I should just do what I can at my own pace. (said after there was NO WAY I could stand up and sit down and stand up while cycling) So I did the best I could..... even though it was pitiful and I wanted to stop.

There's a part of me happy that I went tonight... alone. It was difficult just going through the doors. I did something that was uncomfortable and something I'm horrible at..... and I survived. I was dripping in sweat wanting to die, but I at least tried.

I'm supposed to get a bike this Christmas, but after today's spin class I joked to David to skip the bike and get me an iPad. It was tough, and I really don't think that a person like me will ever be fit enough to do a triathlon or even endure a spin class. Friends tell me that it will get better but seriously..... I don't believe them. I've never been sports oriented.... and I really do think that I should stick to the things I'm good at.

There's just one problem....I really do want to at least get fit... even if I'm really awful at it.

The Journey

2010-12-01T08:24:00.000-08:00

The Journey of the Magi by T.S. Eliot

"A Cold coming we had of it.
Just the worse time of year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp

The very dead of winter.
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times when we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities dirty and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wineskins.
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Fear and Trembling

2010-11-29T21:50:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a book by RC Sproul titled The Holiness of God. It is quite a classic and some consider it a "must read" book up there with Mere Christianity and JI Packer's Knowing God.

It is very good, and has caused me a lot of thought. The holiness of God. I can't even fathom it. In The Holiness of God, in chapter Four, the Trauma of Holiness, Mr. Sproul recounts the story of how Jesus rebuked the storm and it obeyed, and the time when Jesus said to put down their nets and their nets were overwhelmed with fish. Peter recognizes that Jesus is God; so holy he wishes him to leave him, realizing His own sinfulness in contrast to the perfect holiness of Christ. Here is what Mr. Sproul writes about the story in Luke 5.

"At that moment [Luke 5:8] Peter realized that he was in the process of the Holy Incarnate. He was desperately uncomfortable. His initial response was one of worship. He fell to his knees before Christ. Instead of saying something like, "Lord, I adore you. I magnify you," he said, "Please go away. Please leave. I can't stand it."

The history of the life of Christ is a history of multitudes of people pushing through crowds just to get close to Him. It is the leper crying, "Have mercy on me." It is the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years reaching out to touch the hem of His garments. It is the thief on the cross straining to hear Jesus' dying words. It is people saying, "Come close to me. Look at me. Touch me."

Not so Peter. His anguish plea was different: He asked Jesus to depart, to give him space, to leave him alone.

Why? We need not speculate here. It is not necessary to read between the lines because the lines themselves state precisely why Peter wanted Jesus gone: "I am a sinful man!" Sinful people are not comfortable in the presence of the holy." (pages 56, 57)

The holiness of God. Think about it. I do believe I'd fall on my face. To think that the holiness of God is excruciating to us. (Isaiah in the presence of God)

I don't meditate on the Holiness of God much, but it has been refreshing and beautiful to think of Him being so full and worthy of awe. Awe-ful.

Sometimes I read more than one book, and now I especially am since we are in the season of Advent. I was reading (rather randomly) in a book titled Watch For the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas. One of the chapters is The Coming of Jesus in Our Midst by Bonhoeffer. On page 205 he writes:

"It is very remarkable hat we face the thought that God is coming so calmly, whereas previously peoples trembled at the day of God, whereas the world fell into trembling when Jesus Christ walked over the earth. That is why we find it so strange when we see the marks of God in the world so often together with the marks of human suffering, with the marks of the cross on Golgotha. We have become so accustomed to idea of divine love and of God's coming at Christmas that we no longer feel the shiver of fear that God's coming should arouse in us. We are indifferent to the message, taking only the pleasant and agreeable out of it and forgetting the serious aspect, that the God of the world draws near to the people of our little earth and lays claim to us. The coming of God is truly not only glad tidings, but first of all frightening news for everyone who has a conscience.

Only when we have felt the terror of the matter, can we recognize the incomparable kindness. God comes into the very midst of evil and of death, and judges the evil in us and in the world. And by judging us, God cleanses and sanctifies us, comes to us with grace and love."

I have not a clue what it will be like in Christ's presence. Will I still feel unworthy and mindful of my sin? Or will I know that I stand before God and am seen without sin due to the imputation of Christ's righteousness? Will I feel the excruciating pain of knowing I was in the presence of God's holiness, or will I be at ease, in the arms of a welcoming father?

I can't even fathom the day.

Advent Quote

2010-11-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

"The Advent season is a season of waiting, but our whole life is an Advent season, that is, a season of waiting for the last Advent, for the time when there will be a new heaven and a new earth.” D. Bonhoeffer, God Is In the Manger

I've ordered this book and am looking forward to reading it this Advent season; it has come highly recommended from a few folks. I'll post more quotes as I read this book. For now, enjoy the first week of Advent!

He Is Worthy

2010-11-28T23:21:00.000-08:00

Last week I decided that I need to pursue some changes, and one of them was to pray out loud in prayer on Wednesday mornings. Not because I think praying silently is wrong; I wanted to pray aloud because the reason for my silence was wrong; it wasn't borne out of conviction or a quiet spirit, it was because of my own selfishness and discomfort in praying out loud. To put it bluntly: it is incredibly painful to listen to my inadequate attempts to voice my prayers out loud for everyone to hear.

Truly. I add nothing to the corporate experience; yet I feel that I must pray out loud simply because He is worthy of my prayers and praises, regardless of how bad I am at it or how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

As a carryover of my decision to change some things around, I also realized I needed to start singing out loud during church. A long time ago, I physically couldn't sing and got in the habit of not. I'll just stand there, reading the words, thinking of the words, and even questioning the words, but not singing them. But He is worthy of my praise. So today I tried to sing and realized the deeper reason why I don't sing; it wasn't because I disagreed with the songs' words; it was because I feel the words too deeply in my heart and when I sing them, it makes me want to cry. I don't like crying. I don't like displays of emotion, and the ironic thing is I'm probably considered very emotional! (yet I dislike that too) It's not just that I don't like to cry; it is that I don't like others to see me cry!

So far it has all been one week. One Wednesday of praying out loud and one Sunday of trying to sing. I'm not sure anything good has come from either experience but I'm not giving up yet; I do believe that He is worthy of my praise, no matter the discomfort it causes me. I should be wiling and eager to embrace this wonderful opportunity to gather together to sing and pray.

It still isn't easy.

Thankful

2010-11-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

This weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving, and I am truly thankful. As we sat around the table on Thursday, we were asked to say what we were thankful for, and it struck me that most of what was stated was stuff. One young 8 year old (not mine) mentioned he was thankful for money.... that we were able to buy cool stuff and have food and toys and all that.

I thought I was pretty good, being thankful for family, but I realized a bit later that, though it sounded good, that perhaps I also was missing what was truly important?

It is so easy to be thankful for things and circumstances, yet miss the Giver of these special gifts and blessings.

I don't want to ever forget the Who behind all the gifts. I want to be thankful towards God, not just for His goodness and all He bestows on me, but thankful for who He is. Always.

May I learn to be content in Him.

Thoughts on Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room

2010-11-26T22:19:00.000-08:00

I was surprised how petite Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room by Nancy Guthrie is, but when I started reading it, it won me over.

This slim volume about Christmas is perfectly suited for family Advent devotions. Every day has a daily devotion and Discussion Starter questions, as well as a place to record questions and comments. Occasionally there is a hymn or song, complete with words and music. This small book is completely focused on Jesus; His birth as well as His promise to come again. Saturated with Biblical truth and Scripture, this book encourages conversation. I can't wait to read this with my children this year; I know it will be well-received and a lot of fun to explore a bit more in depth what Christmas truly means and our response to that.

Here's what is written for December 21st:

"Most or us have a little list going this time of year - if not on paper, then in our heads. It's that list of what we're hoping someone might give us for Christmas. But isn't it interesting that at Christmas we get gifts on someone else's birthday? Jesus is the real birthday boy. Have you ever thought about what Jesus might want for his birthday this Christmas?

The Bible tells us hat after Jesus was born, "some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, "Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him." (Matthew 21:21)

An unusual star in the sky led these men to Jesus. Matthew wrote that "when they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy." (matthew 2:10, NASB, emphasis added). It's almost as if here aren't enough words to express how much joy they felt over this star that would lead them to Jesus.

When the wise men saw Jesus, they bowed down and worshiped him. And they gave him expensive gifts. Giving is part of worship. If we really admire and love the one we are worshiping, we are glad to give ourselves and whatever we have of value, to him. If Christ is the true object of our worship, then no one has to force us to worship him or give of ourselves to him. It is what we want to do.

Since it is Jesus' birthday that we celebrate at Christmas, perhaps you should consider what you could give to Jesus for his birthday present. Perhaps the gift you could give to Jesus this Christmas is to say to him from your heart, "I'm so happy you brought me to you! You are worthy of my worship, and I want you to be the King of my life. You are more precious to me than anything I own, and I gladly give you the honor you deserve." This is a gift he will enjoy."

-Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room, by Nancy Guthrie, page 60

I received this book free from Tyndale Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

No Value

2010-11-23T13:08:00.000-08:00

"Until we get back into a quiet mood before Him, our faith is of no value, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is what rules our lives." Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Book Thoughts- On This Day In Christian History

2010-11-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

On This Day In Christian History: 365 Amazing and Inspiring Stories About Saints, Martyrs, and Heroes by Robert Morgan, is a hard book to review; as it is more of a daily devotional style book, with each day reading one page or so, and there is little flow to it, as it skips around, drawing from special dates all throughout history. Some will love this style; others will wish for something a bit more in depth, but I like it. I think it exposes you to a lot and if you take a special interest in a time frame, person, or event, you can pursue focusing on that through another book.

Whenever I see books broken up in 365 daily readings, I always think "gift," especially at Christmas time or New Year's when everyone is making a conscious effort to read, reflect and learn more in the new year. This would make a great gift for a history person, or a Christian, or someone that wants to learn more about the history of this faith. It truly is fascinating, and there is so much to learn that this book is a great jumping off point. I already have learned so much I never knew. If you already know a lot about Church History, you might be frustrated with the organization of this book and wish to pursue a book that dives into one topic or event at once.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

U2- Yahweh

2010-11-21T18:34:00.001-08:00

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break

Too Much is Not Enough

2010-11-20T00:09:00.000-08:00

I've always thought that my daughter was an extrovert: she's loud, funny, loves people and new things, and since the age of 2 has always made new friends instantly with anyone on the playground, inviting them to her birthday party that was about 9 months away, and firmly believing that she'd see this acquaintance again. She won't even know the person's name but refer to her as "best friend." Clearly, not my daughter. I think it perhaps takes me five years before I can safely call a person "best" or even "close" friend!

The other day a person referred to me (namelessly) as "a friend." that sent him a quote. I jokingly mentioned he must be an extrovert to consider me a friend! And he challenged back, that as an introvert, does that mean I don't consider him a friend?

Ah, it's so complicated! Yes and no. The banter went back and forth for a bit, and caused me much further thought. What makes a person my "friend?" What does it take? I don't say that word lightly, and yet.... what better description than "friend?" Yet my only interaction is at church and church functions, as well as a bit of emailing and blog, but nothing that I consider "in depth" or in a way that makes me feel connected. So what does it take to feel connection? A meal? Meeting outside the context of a corporate gathering? Time?

I dropped Katie off at a sleepover and she was so happy and welcomed by 2 little girls she knows quite well from church. But then the doorbelll rang and in came in 2 girls she did not know. I'm not sure what happened, but before I left I noticed she was hiding. I went over to see how she was doing, and encouraged her to play with her friends, who came over, laughing and coaxing her to play with them, assuring her the new girls she did not know yet were nice. As I left they all seemed to be having a great time, but it did make me ache for a moment, wondering what happened to me super confident little girl? Did I do something to make her feel bad about herself? Is she insecure at school? What is it that is making her so self-aware? Is she an extrovert, or an introvert?

I want her to be opposite of me. I want her to feel at ease and confident in new surroundings. I want her to have no insecurities but just have fun and enjoy life. I want her to be instant friends with folks, despite the shallowness that would bug me like crazy. I like that. I hope she always is bold, loving and happy.

And me? I'm still trying to decide if someone I've known for months can be termed "friend," and realize that my email/blog/Facebook interactions are oftentimes more in-depth than my Real Life ones.... and yet, not sure I'd term many of my online interactions as "friends." Yet, sadly, they are often more fulfilling than my Real Life interactions.

I'm not sure I'll every be satisfied....... "Too much is not enough."

Thoughts on Mere Churchianity: Finding Your Way Back to Jesus-Shaped Spirituality

2010-11-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

I joined a new book blogging site, Blogging For Books, and this was my top choice to read and review. I remember a few months ago when this book was released and the attention it got. Words used to describe it were: "Provocative. Incredibly Accurate. Controversial. Edgy." I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not, so I held off buying it. However, once I chose it on the website, I went and borrowed a copy to give me a head start on reading it!

I'm so glad I chose this book to review. It is one I want on my bookshelf.

Mere Churchianity will make you think. Michael Spencer is so accurate in his observations of the problems of the church. We often don't resemble Jesus, sometimes we are sorely lacking in much knowledge about our faith, and even if we know about our faith, are we living it out?

It is true; there are a lot of problems in the church! But I love the church regardless and can't help but think that Scripture says that Christ also loves the Church, so when Mr. Spencer comments about how leaving the church might be the best, healthiest thing a person can do (page 57), it makes me cringe. I know there is a current trend to leave Churches in order to fully live in authentic community, but I still maintain the belief that we can have all that Michael Spencer advocates in his book but inside the church! It is true that we're broken people; so why is it that we demand a perfect church?

I recall a quote I read by Charles Spurgeon about the church and how we should give ourselves to the church, even in its' faults and weaknesses. The entire quote is good, but in order to be brief I'll just quote this one paragraph: "As I have already said, the Church is faulty, but that is no excuse for your not joining it, if you are the Lord’s. Nor need your own faults keep you back, for the Church is not an institution for perfect people, but a sanctuary for sinners saved by Grace, who, though they are saved, are still sinners and need all the help they can derive from the sympathy and guidance of their fellow Believers."

I was so challenged by Mere Churchianity, but I agree with a quote I heard of Bill Hybels that "the local church is the hope of the wold." There is so much thought-provoking, challenging and accurate assessments in this book, I completely recommend it, but I disagree with his view of the church.

DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION: I received this book free from Blogging For Books program through Waterbrook Multnomah. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

First Things First

2010-11-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

"Too often we confuse first things and second things. If I want my children to have beautiful imaginations (a second thing), I must first turn off the television, read them descriptive, fantastical books, and give them experiences that let their mind wander and dream (a first thing). I can't tell them to practice "imagination." I have to create an environment that first encourages is. Consider bestselling gooks. Authors don't set out to create a bestseller (a second thing), and in most cases if they did, they'd never get the result. Instead, they set out to write an honest account of their view of the world (a first thing) in hopes that others will appreciate it and benefit from it. If the readers tell their friends and more people read it, the book could become a bestseller. But you hardly ever achieve the second things without the first things. As C.S. Lewis wrote in his brilliant essay "First and Second things," "You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first."

Gabe Lyons' The Next Christians: How a New Generation is Restoring the Faith.

This has been causing me some thought. I find myself often going and desiring the second thing without pursuing the first.

What about you?

Christians In the World

2010-11-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

"Nothing illustrates what's possible better than an anonymous letter written to Diognetus, a Roman scholar who lived between the second and third centuries (likely during the great persecutions of Christians). It shows the tension - and the potential - of how thinking and living with a restoration focus can impact the world.

The Christians cannot be distinguished from the rest of the human race by country or language or customs. They do not live in cities of their own; they do not use a peculiar form of speech; they do not follow an eccentric manner of life.... Yet, although they live in Greek and barbarian cities alike.... and follow the customs of the country in clothing and food and other matters of daily living, at the same time they give proof of the remarkable and admittedly extraordinary constitution of their own commonwealth.

They live in their own countries, but only as aliens. They have a share in everything as citizens, and endure everything as foreigners. Every foreign land is their fatherland, and yet for them every fatherland is a foreign land. They marry, like every one else, and they beget children, but they do not cast out their own offspring. They share their board with each other, but not their marriage bed.

They busy themselves on earth, but their citizenship is in heaven. They obey the established laws, but in their own lives they go far beyond what the laws require. They love all men, and by all men are persecuted..... They are poor, and yet they make many rich; they are completely destitute, and yet they enjoy complete abundance.

To put it simply: What the soul is in the body, that Christians are in the world."

From Gabe Lyons' book The Next Christians, page 185, 186, quoting Cyril Richardson's book Early Christian Fathers, pg. 175. Note: From the primary document "The So-Called Letter to Diognetus: The Mystery of the New People"

What are your thoughts?

Giving More

2010-11-16T18:31:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I had all my shopping done and wrapped well before Thanksgiving, but the past few years I've not been so proactive.

I've seen a few "Top 10" lists on other blogs and thought it was a great idea for mine, as I sort out what special things, and some good deals, that I like. Some of these gifts are things I've done in the past, or doing this year, and others are things I found that I like and am thinking about giving.

1. Last year my church encouraged us to give in a variety of ways, and my family and I chose to give a family in another part of the world a bunch of chickens, but you can choose other things, such as a goat, ducks, and even "accessories" like vaccinations for the animals or a chicken coop. I did it through World Concern last year. A Complete Chicken Package is only 75 and includes 20 chicks, food, vaccinations, and materials for a chicken coop. Twenty chickens alone cost only 30 dollars! Truly, there is an animal or a package for every budget. This is a great gift idea for the kids to be involved in. I know that my in-laws pretty much have everything, and they love it when we give them gifts that make a difference in the world.

2. As mentioned above, sometimes it is difficult to buy things for people who seem to have everything, but I've found that most people enjoy experiences. My middle child loves to golf with Grandpa, my youngest wants to go to see The Nutcracker at the local ballet company, and we're incorporating that as a gift for Grandma too. Concerts, theatre, even a picnic by the lake are all experiences that can be just as meaningful, if not more, than a gift in a box. (In Advent Conspiracy terms, this is called "Giving Presence.")

3. Every year the Desiring God store has a wonderful sale around this time, with three bargain set options for only 10 dollars for 4 books! John Piper's new book Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God is worth over 10 dollars alone, and this set also includes Spectacular Sins, The Gadarene and Finally Alive It is a great deal if you have friends that are readers in your life and enjoy John Piper. The website offers free shipping to orders over $30 and you can also choose to make a donation towards Piper's Desiring God ministries as well.

4. Portraits. My kids are growing so fast, many of my family enjoy family portraits, or portraits of my kids. Professionally done or candid, they are always appreciated. Find a nice frame and you have an instant gift that will be treasured.

5. Similar to portraits, one thing I did a few years ago was find cute little photo ornaments to fill with photos of my kids. My in-laws loved them and they are now a keepsake favorite that go up on the tree year after year. Photographed in black and white, they have a classic, timeless feel to them.

6. Music. Either iTunes or an actual CD or concert DVD, music makes a wonderful gift. Many think that a gift card isn't very thoughtful or creative; but I have found that I'm always inclined to keep the iTunes giftcards I purchase rather than give them to others. ... so if you get an iTunes gift card from me, know that you are truly loved because my first thought is to keep it and not give it to you! (So much music.... so little time) Same goes for gift certificates for booksellers like Amazon, Borders or Barnes and Noble. Better yet, support an independent bookseller!

7. One of my favorite Kid Gifts is simply the gift of silly art that brings me back to my own childhood. I'm artistically challenged, but I never had a problem creating elaborate scenes through the ease of a thumbprint. A copy of Ed Emberley's Complete Funprint Drawing book, a black fine-tipped pen, pad of paper and a stamp pad will provide hours of imaginative "art" that any kid can do and have a great time doing it! Ed Emberley's other drawing books are a hit too.

8. A Pillow Pet. Okay, this one is NOT creative or original but my kids absolutely love their Pillow Pets. Plus, they are very useful and quite soft. My kids actually enjoy going to bed more because of their Pillow Pets. You can find them for as low as 14.99 at Ross or other discount retailers, and I've seen them at Target and other places for about 19.99. Did I mention they are actually pretty cute too? Excellent gift.

9. Anything Apple. There. I said it. In my opinion, Apple, not diamonds, is a girl's best friend. I'll gladly take an iPad or a new Nano. (or, a new Macbook Pro, but now I'm really dreaming)

10. A very practical gift is a family pass or annual pass to a museum, amusement park, aquarium, or zoo. This gift will be appreciated all year!

11. I stumbled on this site called Azizi Life and I fell in love with this Nativity Set. Isn't it wonderful? From artisans in Rwanda and provides a way for them to make money at a fair price. I think 35 dollars is more than a fair price for this very unique set! It is sold out right now, and I can totally see why!

12. Not a gift, but a fun alternative to wrapping paper is a technique called furoshiki. I usually use this to wrap small gifts like books or small boxes, and the fabric I generally choose to use is dish towels! Why? Because they are a very usable, practical part of the gift that can be reused again and again, but you can use any fabric.

I'm sure I missed quite a few things and I'm always on the lookout for creative, fun, unique, or gifts that support causes, and I'd love to hear your suggestions and things you have found that you'd like to share.

Quotes of the Day

2010-11-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Let me know which one you like the most, or the least.

"Christ nowhere says, ye shall know the tree by its leaves or flowers, or ye shall know men by their talk . . .or by their speaking feelingly, or by making a very great show by the abundance of talk, or by many tears and affectionate expressions, or by the affections you feel in your heart toward them; by their fruits ye shall know them."
- Jonathan Edwards"

"A Christian can defeat himself in two ways: one is to forget the holiness of God and the fact that sin is sin. The Bible calls us to an ever deeper commitment in giving ourselves to Christ for him to produce his fruit through us.

The other is to allow himself to be worn out by Christians who turn Christianity into a romanticism. The realism of the Bible is that God does not excuse sin, but neither is he finished with us when he finds sin in us. And for this we should be thankful."

- Francis Schaeffer, No Little People

“There has been a long tradition which sees the mission of the Church primarily as obedience to a command. It has been customary to speak of ‘the missionary mandate.’ This way of putting the matter is certainly not without justification, and yet it seems to me that is misses the point. It tends to make mission a burden rather than a joy, to make it part of the law rather than part of the gospel. If one looks at the New Testament evidence one gets another impression. Mission begins with a kind of explosion of joy. The news that the rejected and crucified Jesus is alive is something that cannot possibly be suppressed. It must be told. Who could be silent about such a fact? The mission of the Church in the pages of the New Testament is more like the fallout from a vast explosion, a radioactive fallout which is not lethal but life-giving.”

-Lesslie Newbigin, The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, page 116.

Four Holy Gospels

2010-11-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

Fujimura - 4 Holy Gospels from Crossway on Vimeo.

This is such an interesting video to me; beautiful and presents a lot of thought about art and culture and Christianity and what it means to engage in art as worship.

This book, The Four Holy Gospels, is being released at the end of January. It looks gorgeous and I so enjoy this video and what it has to say. Plus, Crossway is one of my favorite publishers and I love seeing something so creative come from them. Thank you Crossway and Makoto Fujimura for creating such wonderful art to commemorate the 400th Anniversary of the King James Version.

I just may have to start saving my pennies (a lot of them!) if I want this book. Regardless if I'll ever own it, I do think it is beautiful and a great way to engage art and worship.

What do you think of art, and what makes an art "Christian" and with a Christian world view?