U2

I'm so glad that I attended the Pasadena U2 360 Tour because it looks like I will not be seeing them in 2010.

Of course, I want Bono to recover completely but, selfishly, I am so disappointed. I bought my tickets at the beginning of November 2009, just days after I attended the Pasadena concert. I purchased advanced sale general admission tickets. I've always wanted to be on the general admission floor. It always seems to be the most exciting, energetic spot, yet the only concert I've been up close to was Toad the Wet Sprocket. (a long time ago!)

Add to that I was going with some of my favorite people: My husband (of course!) my friend Ellyn, who has traveled even to Seattle to visit me and attend a U2 concert there, and I think I've gone to every U2 concert with her since I was in high school. My friend Robby, another person I've known forever and his wife Dena. Add to that a few new friends and my jr. high youth pastor and his wife who I've not seen in years and years!

All this to say: I've been counting down the days until this concert, and now it is postponed until 2011.

I'm sad. But grateful I journeyed to Pasadena, and happy that their concert tour DVD comes out very soon. (June 3rd)

He Is Risen!

"He isn't here! He has been raised from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying." Matthew 28:6

Insanity

There's an oft-repeated quote that is attributed to Albert Einstein that says, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I experienced a bit of that this morning.

Typically I enjoy going to costco, grocery shopping and other errands without my children since they are now all old enough to attend school, but today I had to go to the store to get a "few" items. Unfortunately a must-get item (dishwasher soap) was forgotten. I'll need to go back but I'm putting that off.

I had a fairly peaceful time at Walmart but then realized I needed to go to the grocery store, so we ventured there as well. This was a mistake. Ironically, it wasn't my kids that drove me crazy; it was the checkout.

Since the lines were long, I decided to do the self check out thing. Usually I have minimal problems, but of course, since I had three kids with me, I had problems! Lots of them!

It started when one of my items was very light and did not seem to register that I put it in a bag, so I was prompted to put the item in the bag. I already had. So, eventually it says "ASSISTANCE NEEDED" and wouldn't let me do anything else. The attendant was with someone else, and a few minutes later, without an attendant assisting me, it started working again. But this time it wouldn't register that I put anything in the bagging area. So after every scan, I had to wait until I could touch the "skip bagging" button. This added a bit of time and was frustrating to me but at least i was working.

Here's where the insanity begins, If you thought going anywhere with 3 kids was insane, I might agree with you but this was way worse!

All of the sudden it started to work correctly without me having to hit the "skip bagging" button. But then it got confused. I put an item in the area but it did not register for it and asked to put the item in the area. Ummm.... I already had, so I took it out. Then it prompted me to replace the item in the bagging area. Compliant, and hoping to just get out of there, I did and was told by the electronic voice to remove item from bagging area. So I did and.... you guessed it! It prompted me to replace the item. I did this perhaps 6 times, getting more frustrated by the minute.

I have no idea what changed to fix it; no attendant seemed to notice or address the issue. Not even a hello, which was probably a good thing because I may have had steam coming out of my ears.

Finally, I paid, collected my receipt and my kids and left.

Why is it that mundane, every day things can be so annoying?

Need Not Weep

"You need not weep because Christ died one-tenth so much as because your sins rendered it necessary that He should die. You need not weep over the crucifixion, but weep over your transgression, for your sins nailed the Redeemer to the accursed tree. To weep over a dying Saviour is to lament the remedy; it were wiser to bewail the disease. To weep over the dying Saviour is to wet the surgeon's knife with tears; it were better to bewail the spreading polyps which that knife must cut away. To weep over the Lord Jesus as He goes to the cross is to weep over that which is the subject of the highest joy that ever heaven and earth have known; your tears are scarcely needed there; they are unnatural, but a deeper wisdom will make you brush them all away and chant with joy His victory over death and the grave. If we must continue our sad emotions, let us lament that we should have broken the law which He thus painfully vindicated; let us mourn that we should have incurred the penalty which He even to the death was made to endure ... O brethren and sisters, this is the reason why we souls weep: because we have broken the divine law and rendered it impossible that we should be saved except Jesus Christ should die."

Charles Spurgeon

Jesus Paid It All

What else to say?

Because I love the lyrics, here they are:

I hear the Savior say

Thy strength indeed is small

Child of weakness watch and pray

Find in me thine all in all


Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow


Lord now indeed I find

Thy power and thine alone

Can change the lepers spots

And melt the heart of stone



Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow



And when before the throne

I stand in him complete

Jesus died my soul to save

My lips shall still repeat



Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow



Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead


Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

Failure in Success

Ah, this is a difficult post to write.

I've really appreciated the 40 Days of Water campaign through Blood:Water Mission. It's truly a wonderful organization that helps to supply water to areas around the world that lack clean, accessible drinking water. The money I've saved by forgoing all beverages but water is all going towards providing water to people in Uganda in need. One dollar can provide clean water for one person for an entire year! One dollar!

Yet despite the wonderful reasons for doing this, I wish it wasn't a part of lent. I've never succeeded in observing Lent. I've never tried Lent until about 15 years ago and loved Ash Wednesday, the idea of sacrificing something to further understand, draw closer to the miracle of the Resurrection. I joke that I could be a Catholic because I see these things as beautiful.

Because of this, I wanted to observe Lent this year.... to give something up. I then discovered 40 Days of Water and was surprised that others wanted to join me.

Lent confuses me because there's a part of me that thinks that it is supposed to be done privately and quietly..... yet this campaign is one that encourages dialogue.

So I've been conflicted. Do I talk about what I have given up for Lent and the reasons behind it? (Blood:Water Mission) or do I traditionally observe lent by staying silent? There's a part of me that thinks that this is a community effort and in churches that do observe lent it's not a secret everyone is giving SOMETHING up; but I guess that SOMETHING is what is between you and God, not up for discussion with others.

If you are reading this and I've just really confused you, you can read a bit more about Lent and my pastor's perspective on his blog HERE.

After week 4, it has become really difficult. The first few weeks were fairly easy; I wonder if it was because of the novelty; a bit of a special feeling that I was doing this. Especially because so many of my friends felt I was addicted to diet coke. I consumed so much of it! It was even a part of my identity; people would associate diet coke with me. I even made friends around our common bond of diet coke drinking! I've been drinking diet coke since I was a freshman in high school and the school had a diet coke machine next to the band practice room, which I spent a huge chunk of time between the music rooms and the drama theatre.

Many of my friends thought there was NO WAY I could follow through on this, which just fueled my determination.

It is now the last few days of Lent. I was so very tempted to give up last week, and a huge reason was the fact that I realized that Lent is a heart issue and what does my heart reveal? Yes, of course I desire to help Blood:Water Mission, but I do feel I miss the personal reason why Christians observe Lent.

Knowing this, tonight I really wanted a diet coke with dinner. There was a huge part of me thinking that I should go ahead and have one, because my motives are not right, so truly, Lent doesn't "count" because it's not done "right. So why follow through if I've already blown it? In addition, by giving in would mean a humbling act of failure and to succeed would be an accomplishment. MY accomplishment. My act of willpower. A goal met.

I don't want Lent to just be a personal goal that I met and nothing more.

I know; there's the money raised for Blood:Water Mission and I should be happy with that. I am. I just wish that it wasn't entwined with Lent because I am conflicted.

Telling my family I was choosing to give up Lent and indulge in a diet coke today was interesting. David encouraged me to stick with it; just 2 more days! When I said my reasons I was doing it was wrong, he said it was up to me and that I should feel good I went this long.

But is it about "feeling good"?

Convinced that it would be an issue of pride; a triumphant "I did it" when many around me could not, I thought it would be best to "fail" and consume a diet coke.

Yet my 10 year old cried out, "No mommy! You can do it! Don't give up!"

I chose water tonight. But I'm not proud of my journey. Oh, I'm happy to donate money so that Ugandans can have clean water and I am really impressed by Blood: Water Mission.

I just wish I hadn't wasted this beautiful time and used it a bit more wisely, with Jesus as my goal and the anguish of what He did on the cross as what was forefront in my mind..... not how much I miss diet coke. Not how people perceived me to have a lot of willpower or pity because I miss it, not even because I was supporting a great cause.

I may have done a "good thing" but I missed a lot in the process.

Will I observe Lent next year? I'm not telling. But if I do, you won't see it on facebook or in a blog.

I will say this: I'd gladly do 40 days of Water with Blood:Water Mission again, but not in lieu of Lent. It truly is a wonderful mission and even if you did not choose to participate in 40 days of Water you can still DONATE HERE.

Thank you for reading my blog. Today is Good Friday. May it be one of profound meaning as you contemplate the sacrifice of Christ.

God's Wonderful Surprise

This is a video based on the book by Sally Lloyd-Jones, The Jesus Storybook.

I loved this, and loved the ending line: "Was God really making everything sad come untrue? Was he making even death become untrue?"