Code

Review: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

I've never read any of John Maxwell's books and generally I'm not all that interested in leadership books, but this book was good on many levels, not just for business or leadership, but the principles are good for interacting in the everyday. I think that everyone desire to connect and communicate effectively.

I'm surprised I'd never read any of his books, and even though I did not think I was so interested in leadership books, his stories and writing style was engaging and kept me interested in reading. Mr. Maxwell seems to have done quite a bit of research and offers much of his own experience and insight, which I found both valuable and entertaining. Since I've never read any of his other books I have nothing to compare it to.

(I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program.)

First Love

I inherited an old, hand-me-down flute when I was in third grade. It belonged to my Aunt Ginny, and I'm pretty sure it was owned by someone prior to that. Basically, this is another way of saying: This flute is OLD! In fact, so old it's made of an inferior metal, a bit more shiny than other flutes, with a slightly different sound, in my opinion. I remember in some ways feeling special that my flute was different, but after a bit wanted the same, beautiful silver flutes my friends had instead.

When I first brought this flute home from southern California, I was in awe. It idd not matter that it was used; I was truly in love. The stained velvet interior of the case, the long cleaning tool that looked like a giant sewing needle. I remember when I first opened it I was disappointed; I did not realize it came in three parts I had to put together. I loved the smell of this old instrument, the look and the feel, even the little parts of the metal that had been worn off from so much use.

I wasn't altogether fond of my young instructor, but I loved to practice! I practiced all the time, going though instructional books at a pretty good pace, learning my scales. Reading music came easily to me, so easily that I really don't know how to explain how to read music or finger notes; it has become so ingrained in my mind that my brain doesn't even think; my fingers just respond.
Music made so much sense to me.

In elementary school I was one of the unpopular kids. It did not bother me; I enjoyed the solitude and my books. Sometimes I'd have one very special friend that enjoyed reading and making up imaginative stories with me. In fourth grade or perhaps it was fifth? Not sure, but we had a band. A few times a week our music teacher would come and have band in the cafeteria. We shared him with all the other elementary schools in the district. Since I had lessons the summer prior to school starting, it was decided I skip beginning band with my classmates and go with the older grades band rehearsal. This set me even further apart from my peers; instead of being a good, positive thing, I was teased more. It did not matter; I was in love with my music. (though there was a time when I really though clarinets were cuter and wanted to switch but I couldn't even get a clarinet to make any noise at all! I'm not a reed instrument type.)

So I skipped beginning band of twinkle twinkle little star and Mary Had a Little lamb, and went straight to the theme song of Raiders of the Last Ark, Ice Castles, Superman and Star Wars..... where ever section actually played a different, unique part. (kinda)

We sounded horrible.

Still, I loved flute, practiced flute. At the end of the year they had an "honor band" of all the top, gifted musicians to come together with other top students from other schools and have a concert. It was here I was introduced to Lust.

My Lust? A piccolo. I absolutely had to own and play this tiny, miniature, shrill thing. So I did. My parents bought me a little piccolo. It was so much better than my flute; teeny tiny, only 2 pieces, in a cute tiny case with brand new blue velvet interior. Did I mention it was the right kind of silver? it was so beautiful. Unfortunately for my parents and neighbors, I loved to practice it way more than my flute. Piccolos are loud and shrill, and though I was good at fingers and reading music and notes, I wasn't always perfectly on pitch.

In jr. high I attended a small private Christian school that did not have band. The closest I could get was private lessons after school and I did that, only there was no motivation anymore. I now was in a youth group with a lot of other people that became my friends. At school I was involved in a choral club, we'd rehearse after school too. I still did lessons but my heart wasn't in it. Without the competition of others in a band, and no recital, there was little incentive.

In high school I was happy I still stuck with my flute lessons because it once again, it allowed me to skip the beginning band that all freshman are enrolled in. I was fortunate; the Symphonic Band had 3 flute openings due to Seniors graduating and I auditioned and did well. Not only that, but because I owned my own piccolo, I became the piccolo player! Symphonic band was awesome, and we did well at CMEA festivals, played at Disneyland, even went to the World's Fair in Vancouver, Canada to play. However.... it wasn't always great. My beloved band teacher, known as "Mr. G" was the nicest guy but he lost his temper a few times. I was almost creamed by his flying baton on occasion, and I was yelled at. I have no idea why I so desired to play piccolo in band because it I don't like attention and a piccolo screams for attention! I had little confidence in my ability and was scared crazy at every performance, competition and even practice.

But my love for flute remained. I even did well, involved in a few duets and trios where we earned the highest honor at solo-ensemble festivals: CP, or Command Performance. Even though I was a shrill piccolo player, on my flute my strength was low notes. I could really play a low note well! So on one piece, Dance of the Reed Flutes, I was the third part. I still remember and can play the 3rd part; it's like the bass line, so very different than the first and second parts. I loved it.

The other day my kids wanted to see it. I took it down, dusted it off and realized that I could no longer play. I still could read music but couldn't play well. And then I realized: my old flute was so worn out, it wasn't me; it was my instrument. I could still get a sound out of it, but all the pads were no longer working. It was so frustrating. My piccolo needed a bit of help too but I could still play it.

David, my husband, encouraged me to get it repaired. My first thought was why? My second realization was it probably would cost more to repair it than to buy a whole new one. Really. The flute is ancient, made of a different metal, is it worth the money? And for what reason? So I could play flute? For what purpose?

Still, I want to play. I want to realize that I can, This brought me so much joy and comfort long ago, so much beauty in my life.

I just miss music in my life.

Peace and Happiness

"God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing."
— C.S. Lewis

You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be

You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be is a wonderful, affirming warmly written book by Max Lucado. I enjoyed this book, but do think with it is perfectly suited as a gift book. It is just a bit over 100 pages and really does help others see their strengths and abilities as God-given to be embraced and used by Him. Of course, this message is not only pertinent to a graduate, it is for everyone but I do think that these types of questions of discovering one's purpose and "sweet spot" is even more a topic among high school and college graduates. Because of its size, Mr. Lucado doesn't go in depth in many areas but this is a fun, enjoyable book that I finished with a smile.

A complimentary copy of this book was provided as a part of the Thomas Nelson Book Sneeze program.

Community Is...

Community is supposed to be this amazing thing. Messy yet rewarding; but the reality is I don't see how it actually works.

First, in life I find that there are groups of people that are completely separate. My schoolyard friends that I know through my children, old friends I've known forever that have a special place in my heart, my church friends, neighborhood friends, hobby friends. They hardly ever cross their boundary lines. Church friends stay at church, maybe out to lunch afterward once in a while, school friends I see at school but hardly outside it, etc. The only time they all occasionally converge in on my facebook page, but even then it is nicely compartmentalized.

If I were to gauge community through Facebook, it looks like I have a really good thing going on, but the reality is quite different. There is no interaction midweek. I see these friends in their neatly ordered parameters, never outside it.

I read so many books about how God designed community; how He himself is community (the trinity) One book, by Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp says this in their book How People Change

"Being involved with people is time consuming, messy and complicated. From our point of view, it is inefficient, but from God's point of view it is the best way to encourage growth in grace. Our value system collides with God's, but his means for bringing about change in us is best. That means we will have to make time for these kinds of friendships to emerge and grow. We will have to be realistic too. Close relationships makes it more likely that you will sin against someone or that someone will sin against you. There will be times of confession and forgiveness. There will be times when you need to serve someone, even though you feel you lack the resources. There will also be times when you will be served! That may not sound like a challenge, but if you are proud, it is the last thing you want!

These are the very reasons why community is such a big part of God's plan to transform us into the image of Christ. Living in community pushes us to die to ourselves. There will be times when loving others and allowing others to serve and love us will feel like death, but this is the pathway to real life in Christ. The more we understand our own hearts, the more we see that it takes a work of God's grace to transform self-absorbed individuals into a community of love. Being in redemptive relationships shows us our need for change and helps bring it about!"

Theoretically, it all sounds so enticing and yet challenging, but rewarding: Community. People that love and accept you. People that enjoy you.

I really struggle in community. I spent one year being involved in everything my church did and still emerged feeling empty. Of course, you can say that it's my fault; I should be looking to GIVE not GET. I understand that. Yet, there's a part of me that feels that I did give. When asked to do things, I always say yes. I have gone out of my way to further community. I invite people into my little world and enter into theirs when the invitation is given.

My thought? I don't want to be self piteous and "me" oriented but realistically I do wonder if true community is really possible? Am I willing to live in community that pushes me, that I'm willing to serve, that is messy? One that transcends the basic "hello, how are you?" that is the typical Sunday morning interaction?

I am shy and reserved, and yet I try to interact, and then grow discouraged when it doesn't work out, but I realize I'm part of the problem.

This past year I've done none of the women's ministry events with my church. I thought I'd really miss it because I don't like to be left out, but surprisingly I really don't care. I know that even if I went, it'd not satisfy the deep craving I have for true community. I truly am quite "different" than most other women.

I don't think anything will satisfy the craving I have for community. Perhaps I love the idea of community but the actual living it out, in all its stickiness and imperfection bothers me. Perhaps this tension of wanting to fit in yet not succeeding is part of the stickiness.

I really do think that there are certain people that do well in community; that fit in and are a joy to be around. Then there are the others that one invites only when it can't be avoided, in the name of "community" and "Christ." Perhaps there is no such thing as perfect love and community.

Which makes me sad.

I So Enjoy This Band!

I saw them in concert. Oh my! Love this band!

Enjoy!