Points

Points. What does that word mean to you? As I typed this I thought of many things: Points scored in a game like basketball or soccer, weight watcher points that I fail miserably at. (I'm eating a brownie as I type this... and a diet coke too!) Points on a test or SAT score, brownie points, etc. In fact, looking it up in the dictionary there's like over 35 definitions of the word "point". From knitting needles to mathematics!

Yesterday I put my kids in another church's VBS program. It's a wonderfully well done program that is a true outreach to their community. They do it out of a local elementary school and it's friendly, organized and they had over 100 kids signed up! I received a CD of songs they'd be singing and my kids had a great time yesterday.

So by now, you may be wondering what my Point is. I do have one. Lately I've been really thinking about motivation and why I make the choices I do. Is it to fit in? Be "accepted"? Is it to be highly regarded? I blogged about Project Restoration and still wonder if I attended out of love for the people and Christ or because I enjoy being a good church person and stuff like that is expected? I am naturally drawn to doing things out of duty and command. I've been told that without love these things are worthless (the infamous 1 Cor 13 love chapter) so it has really caused me to pause and take note: Why do I do what I do?

I grew up in church, strived to be a perfect church girl and was widely thought that I was. I did EVERYTHING and loved it. I won the Pioneer Girl highest honor award, won many awards in the christian school I attended, including perfect attendance, and just really strived for stuff like that. The strange thing is that as much as I crave acknowledgment, when it's bestowed upon me I don't know what to do with it and it really isn't as fulfilling as I thought it'd be.

Sorry, I guess I did say I had a point so here it is: In the VBS program my kids attended yesterday, I got a paper encouraging them to bring in a backpack filled with school supplies for a needy local child that could not afford it. I thought that was a wonderful idea and that perhaps next year my church could do the same: I love getting my kids excited about helping out other kids and this, a backpack with school supplies, is something I can really get them to help me with: Shopping and picking out the supplies, maybe writing a little note or drawing in it, loading it all up, etc.

But Reid was mostly excited that he'd get five bonus points for bringing it in. Not a big deal, right? And yet, it has caused me to think: I grew up in a church that rewarded everything. I won a Thompson Chain Study Bible through perfect attendance and scripture memorization. I won several trips to Disneyland by bringing the most people to visit the youth group and through other things like bringing my bible, scripture memorization, etc. In fact, the pastor even at one time offered his car, a vintage Karmann Ghia until it ended up causing more trouble, fighting, and lack of unity that was not it's purpose so the prize changed. The awards I got were all based on my performance. To a huge degree, my worth was built on what I did and it was never enough. I may have won the prize but was it really fulfilling?

Does it matter if a person goes to a community outreach for the fellowship more than a desire to help? Does it matter why a child memorizes scripture, be it for a candy or because they know that the Bible is important? Do motives matter?

I've no answers; it's just something on my mind. It just seems that we live in a society that embraces brownie points, appearance's sake, and things are done for what one can get in return: Like five bonus points. Things are valuable not because they have value in themselves but because of the instant gratification or recognition that accompanies it.

That being said, though I feel that I do struggle with doing thing out of brownie points instead of love for God, i am also thankful for the the good things I've done and learned because it was required or rewarded. I have chapters of scripture I have memorized from Jr. High that I still have deeply ingrained in memory and find it valuable because scripture memorization is valuable even after the recognition or prize fades away.

So perhaps I don't know what my point is. What do you think? Do motives matter? Is it right or wrong to use treats to reward behaviour? Is it good to reward deeds and action no matter what the motivations are?

Church Hopping

Late last week a friend of mine emails me (it's pointless to try to call me; if you need to get in touch twitter, email or facebook me!) and asks if I'd be interested in signing the kids up at a (fairly) local church. This is the first year I can finally put all 3 kids in VBS so I said YES!

The church is about 16 minutes away, nestled by a school and in a neighborhood, yet still on a busy street. I sometimes make fun of "VBS hoppers" - those who put hop from one church to the next putting their kids in the programs so the mom can take advantage of a little free time. They (I) don't go to these churches, have no interest in switching churches yet feel content putting the kids in the free VBS program. It's great: Kids learn about God, get to play, sing songs, have craft and a bible story and the moms (me!) get a bit of free time. (though I'm spending it right now writing this blog and doing laundry)

Indulge me for a moment: What is the goal of VBS? Is it designed to be an outreach? To the community around the church or those that go to other churches and just need a break for a few hours a day? Do churches put on VBS as a service to their own congregation? Do the churches LIKE having us VBS hoppers? Are they just happy to serve and help the kids grown in the knowledge of Christ? Did they secretly hope that unchurched neighbor kids would attend and are they disappointed when they asked me today, "We don't have your home church listed; do you attend a church?" And I replied yes and proudly stated the name of my church.

Questions aside, I have to say in the past 6 years I've dropped my kids off at many VBS programs. Some really stand apart, as they make VBS fun without sacrificing the reason they are there. Some are a little on the boring side, especially for my 9 year old but he's still hardly complaining because he's with his buddy. My own church has an evening VBS, a rarity. Its 45 dollars and last year I thought that was so much money until I saw the quality of the VBS program; it easily outshone nearly all the free ones my kids had attended!

But I'm on a tangent. My post is about how I am being a church customer. There's been a lot of discussion in my circle lately about what undermines church growth and community. The three things a friend lists are: Materialism, Individualism and Consumerism.

But I wonder how one can stop being a consumer when it comes to church? And I feel that churches perhaps should be aware that people are evaluating their churches and everything from finding a parking spot, to the ease of finding the restroom are as important to a church visitor as the preaching or music. Then there's the whole concept of friendliness and "customer service:"
In fact, it seems that churches are more like a business than anything else!

So yesterday and today I was a church customer. This church had tables set out for the registration. My kids were pre-registered and they were organized and helpful. This step took only minutes as they verified my information, greeted my children and chatted with me about how I had heard about their church. They smiled, made great eye contact and were helpful. I felt safe leaving my kids in their care.

Most of the helpers were all women but there was one man present as well. He said hello to me and later I discovered he was the pastor. For some reason, it impressed me that the pastor would take the time to be a part of a VBS program. I guess my view of pastors are that they are extremely busy and delegate often. It's not a bad thing; I understand that pastors are busy and have to prioritize their time and that is probably why it struck me.

Obviously this is a smaller church because there were less than 45 kids present, and 10 of them were either mine or my friend's children. The first day they played on the playground until it was time to sign up. It seemed to me these kids were well trained! They all, even my kids, silently lined up when asked. The pastor spoke in a hushed tone and everything fell silent. I was amazed at how disciplined and controlled the children were, within mere minutes of lining up. I guess even with 3 kids I am used to chaos at my house!

I know nothing about their church. I am not interested in leaving my church but I have to say I was impressed and happy. I pray their church does great things for their community. I just left with a sense that they knew their purpose and were happy to serve Christ through their VBS ministry. Unfortunately, there have been times at VBS programs where I've just felt like one in an assembly line of people. It was good to feel welcomed, and even better to see my kids embraced fully.

I don't like having a consumer mindset at my church but it's easy to do. I seem to notice all the little details and even though I know church is not about "programs" and activities, I still really like both those things. I do expect much from my church, and sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing?

Well, I guess its time to pick up the kids from VBS. Hope they had a wonderful time. Hmmm... I wonder when the next VBS is offered? I think I like this free time.