There's been a lot of back and forth going on in my house lately. David thinks we must "do" something for my upcoming birthday, because it happens to be my 40th. The only problem is I haven't a clue what I want!
There is a part of me that does want a party with a lot of people, but I know from experience that I'm not usually comfortable in a situation like that. David said we could go away for the weekend but that's not what I want either, as I know I'll be generally disappointed by the myriad of "Happy Birthdays" on facebook but no other effort by even my closer friends. So by having a party, I won't face that disappointment: But do I want a party?
I don't like having others come to my home.... I always feel like the inadequate hostess, so David recommended going to a restaurant, but...... I'm questioning that as well, as I don't think I'd like a large group type of party at a restaurant: Would I really enjoy them all? Or just the four sitting adjacent to me?
Plus, on top of all that...... I don't like the attention to be all on me.
So, I have no idea what I want and a pretty frustrated husband who is trying to make me happy when I haven't a clue what would make me happy, but I know I'll be sad if I have nothing.
I make no sense.