Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Wormwood the printer

I volunteer in a church several times a week. There's much I love about it; there's a few things I dislike too. But the biggest problem so far has been Wormwood. Wormwood, or WW, is the office printer and I've named him WW because he is not exactly of the devil, but a junior "tempter"..... he tempts me to think bad things (I never say bad words but lately I've been thinking them!), tempts me be impatient, tempts me to be angry..... need I go on?

I know our joy is contingent on nothing (or supposed to be) but sometimes I wonder; WW has quite a hold on my emotions. I do't know anything about printers, and this one is so inconsistent that I have no control at all. I have finally figured out every crevice it can hide paper when it has a paper jam, yet sometimes there is a mysterious "jam" when there isn't! It hates certain types of cardstock one day but the next day all is forgiven and it accepts it heartily without protest.

Then there's the issue of print color. This is what bothers me the most, as I created it. No one will know I had WW trouble and the printer is possessed and enjoys tormenting me; no. That's not a valid excuse. So instead of printing in the cool, cutting edge brown that is supposed to be one of our new logo "trademark" colors, it prints in streaky, baby poo brown (not formula fed). Yet, every once in a while will print perfectly a few times just to baffle me and cause me to think it's not running low on any ink color; it's just tempting me to be frustrated and angry and hate humanity. Now, I'm tempted to throw away all the inferior ones, but that's about 80% (if not more) of the batch and there's no guarantee when I reprint it will improve at all!

I'm told it's no big thing, no one else seems to care that much, but I care; I created it! Plus it's an extension of my church, a first impression. I want it perfect. And there's nothing I can do to make it perfect. It is completely out of my control and I HATE IT and I know there are others that will hate it too, one being the head pastor but he's away and perhaps will never know, but even if he doesn't, I know it and bugs me!

There's supposed to be a Prayer Summit on Monday. I wonder how people would respond if I asked for prayer for Wormwood. Maybe we could lay hands on the printer. Or maybe someone else would like to print the bulletins because seriously it is driving me crazy.

I'd love to hear your suggestions on resisting Wormwood's attacks. You'd think that church printer would be much more well behaved. I could be worse; it could be Screwtape. At least with WW I think that I will prevail his clumsy attempts. (though I admit they seem to be working at the moment)

I hate printers. Oh, and the other printer, the big poster size one? I think I'll name it Screwtape. I have a feeling I won't win that battle......

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