Thursday, January 10, 2013

Week 3


Week 1 - Christmas... and it was wonderful yet stressful and full of family, which is why it was so stressful! Seriously, why is family so complex?

Week 2 - Vacation with extended family, home and a funeral of a family member I've seen maybe 12 times in my nearly 20 years of marriage. Really tough, especially as an introvert where I enjoy some alone time and didn't get enough of it. Still, it was good.

Week 3 - Current week. First "real" week of sabbatical. Kids back in school, David at work, and I really having nothing to do. No church tasks. No meetings. No bulletin or tweets or FB updates to the church FB page. It has been TOUGH. And yet, good. But really, really difficult. Sadness mixed with self-pity, loneliness, more self-pity, a lot of prayer,  lots of reading books, seeing things in a completely different perspective, more sadness, more guilt, learning about grace, clinging to Jesus and yet questioning Him at the same time. A bit of disillusionment realized in my view of church, grace. Anger. More grace. Feeling like I only matter because of what I do and then realizing that even THAT... worth because of what I do and volunteer, perhaps it is meaningless a well .... a difficult week.

Week 3 hasn't ended yet. I wonder what will win.

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