Ironic that a few days ago I posted about how I love words. I do love words and I love to write. Writing is an outlet for me and I'm quite glad that I started this blog a few months ago: I need it!
It has been suggested that I have a head knowledge faith and I've struggled with that but wonder if it's true. I read many books, love to figure things out but how good am I at applying what I learn or believe? It's not enough to think and figure things out and write about it; it must be lived out and unfortunately, I have failed in this area. I desire to serve and have a servant's heart but when it actually is tested I have failed.
It hurts to fail. It hurts to figure out how to move on when one feels there is no place to go.
I desire my faith to be more than words. I have in some ways hid behind my questions as a way to focus on that instead of living my faith out. My words which really help me in some ways have become a hindrance to me.
I struggle with what to do and how to respond because I want to instantly make things better but the reality is I can't do that: Only time can prove that I'm working to make things better. Only time can prove it's more than words.