The Hardest Thing

On Sunday we had a guest speaker at church. I'm really wary of guest speakers and wasn't too keen on the last one, but I was more than optimistic since I'd heard this guy before and he's funny and does a good job.

Boy, was he funny! Even his impromptu jokes and observations on the tiny bottles of water that were provided for him was funny. I guess it helps that he's a comedian.

And although he was quite humorous, his message was hard hitting. He opened almost with a "pep talk" about being missional and the good things his organization is doing that my church participates. It made me want to go and volunteer more. Then he used passages of the Bible to illustrate that when we do things by missing an "ingredient" or adding a wrong ingredient, it doesn't work. He then went on to use in classic pastor speak, rhyming words so I'll never forget his message.

Painted/Tainted/Fainted.

Painted Service: Outwardly appearing to have a heart of service but motivated by self. Matthew 23.

Tainted Service: When motive is for personal gain and not honest; when it is more about you, then it becomes tainted. Acts chapter 4; Ananias and Saphira.

Fainted Service: Here he used the illustration of Demas, who deserted Paul and the ministry when he needed him most. Philemon , Colossians 4:13, 2 Timothy. Missional life is a long term journey that speeds up and gets better as we go. Don't faint.

He also had a wonderful "high five" illustration too but that's for another blog post.

A few weeks ago I was contacted by Jon (the speaker) to join his team. I was so excited! I truly desire to serve and do something useful. But during his message I wondered if my motivation was right or if I was guilty of "painted service?" It truly made me happy that Jon even knew who I was and invited me on his team. I felt important. Would this "taint" my efforts in being in this ministry?

So I bowed out and it hurt. I wanted to be a part of his team and I really did want to help and be involved in this ministry because I do passionately believe in it, but at this time, I just don't know if I'm ready for it. Or maybe I'm just a coward and too scared to take a risk and do something wrong or not be "good enough" for the team. Maybe I just look like I"d be a good team member but they don't know me. What if they got to know me and rejected me? It would hurt.

Not sure which is the "right" reason for my declining this opportunity but I already regret it.