Thursday, September 23, 2010

If I Only Had a Heart

A few days ago my kids watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time. They all loved it! Katie cowered and cried near the end; she's quite an animal person and couldn't dare watch anything frightful happen to Toto.

It was really grand watching their delight as they watched. Katie exclaimed that everything became beautiful when the movie turned to color. She wanted to know if it was all real; if there really was a place like that. Then she went to her room, and found all her McDonalds happy meal doll toys of the Wizard of Oz and proceeded to play with them. It was cute.

So featured here is the Tin Man who is in need of a heart. Some days I feel that I'm in need of one too, and some days I think my heart is too sensitive; it breaks easily for things and people. It is hard to see people hurting. It is hard to see devastation on the news, and even more heartbreaking at times is it when I see heartbreaking things and am so calloused to it. I don't want to be calloused, but I also don't like to be too emotional either.

I was told the other day that I "need a vacation from myself." That sounds horrible and I wondered if it meant I was too self-absorbed or just the usual: too intense. Of course, I'm too intense. Its not a new thing. I tend to be intense. I'm sure it bugs most people crazy, and I really do try to tone it down. The things that are important to me are VERY important! But unfortunately those "very important' things are actually not all that important to anyone else. Except someone like me.

I do try not to be intense, not to let things upset me. To believe the best, to relax. I'm not a very relaxed person! I kid myself that I need to learn how to like wine, but perhaps it is good that I don't! Still, I do think I'd be a bit more livable if I could relax a bit. I do think that the gym has helped but there are some things that still rile me up pretty easily.

If I only had a heart.... or a brain. Or courage. Or......

What would you ask the Wizard?

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