Friday, September 4, 2009

That I Should Gain

As alluded to in a prior post, Charles Wesley wrote quite a number of famous hymns, perhaps the most famous is Hark the Herald Angels Sing, but in my early years attending a Baptist church we'd sing several Charles Wesley hymns. I'd always sit on the hard, wooden pew in this small, old church that smelled musty, with it's ancient red hymnals and blue Bibles in the little book holder on the back of the pew. It also provided tiny pencils that were seldom sharpened quite enough and tithe cards in which all kids would doodle on.

Back in those days (birth to 3rd grade) I'd attend this small church every Sunday with my Grandma and my Aunt. My mom hardly attended but that was even more reason for my grandma to scoop my brothers and I up every Sunday and transport us to her church. I have fond memories of my Grandma... she'd always have mints with her, always attend Sunday morning church, seemed to know the words to most hymns and ALWAYS sang them off-key in her slightly southern drawl. She was always dressed up for church and expected my brothers and I to dressed nicely as well.

I never truly felt like I fit in at this church; probably because it always seemed like it was my Grandma's church, not mine. Most kids attended with their parents but I always attended with my out-of-tune Grandma and my Aunt who taught Sunday School. Plus, I did not live in this church's neighborhood so I rarely did kid's choir or VBS though I always longed to do that. My cousins all did (and hated it) but I never got to.

After Monday's post of mentioning Charles Wesley I've had a few of his hymns in my mind. Today as I stepped on the scale I was happily shocked to be down a few pounds, and more notably, in a different number range than before. The first thing that came into my mind was the hymn, "Amazing Love". (And can it be that I should gain)

The opening strain is what reminds me of my weight: "And can it be that I should gain?" It normally doesn't seem to matter what I do; I always gain. I know that theoretically it's simple math: If I expend more calories that I consume then I'll lose weight and this can easily be attained through exercise or eating less. I'm not really into exercise I generally just try to eat less.... but for some strange reason, even if I hardly eat anything at all I don't lose much, if any weight. Of course, then I get discouraged because I'm seemingly being SO GOOD there should be some type of results from my efforts and there's none and then I just don't care and eat anything I want....... but when I'm being so good, I really do wonder: How can it be that I should gain?

I'm glad that I am in a lower number range right now but it's not a victory yet; I've been here a number of times this past year and never can get under 125, let alone back down to 110.I am happy that I stepped on the scale tonight because perhaps it will help motivate me to continue being good. The only problem is that one can't tell. I don't see any noticeable difference in the mirror and not sure my pant fit truly is very different. But perhaps 8 pounds is not a big enough number to truly reflect in the mirror. (and no; I did not lose 8 pounds in one day; this is over a couple of weeks)

I don't know why I gain so easily and it really doesn't make sense. Do you have things that you are trying to change that seem resistant? That by all rights and logic should be yielding results but aren't?

Oh, and an off topic question: Why is it that we seldom sing the third verse to most hymns? I know; hymns are seldom sung at all anymore but just the other week my church sang a hymn, one that I knew quite well and yet we did not sing the third verse. (and for some reason, I generally like the third verse but I think a big part of it is pride: I know my hymns. Even the third verse.)

But again: What are things in your life that by all accounts should yield results yet there's no actual, measurable result? What do you do about that? Try harder? Give up? Plan a different method?


  1. Oh, I understand you perfectly!..I'm addicted to coke, too..and pepsy:)..I love chips and I would eat Haribo all day long..I'm trying so hard to lose some weight, I walk, I drink just water and coffee, I eat 'good' food...and nothing...yeah, maybe 2-3 pounds in a week..and after that I gain them back.Sometimes I feel it's pointless, and after that I discipline myself...I just don't get it why some things are that hard..

  2. To my friend; If I deleted your comment I am sorry; it was not intentional.

  3. I struggle with weight, and then give up...and then try again. I think it would be good, if regardless of the number I just learn to persevere. I can persevere in other now i need to learn to persevere in this area. I am not disciplined with repetive actions, thus the weight loss is so difficult. yes I must do the math, becuase I must be oblivious with what I do eat. I have never in my life lost 8 lbs in two weeks. The best I ever did was 3 lbs I think. Maybe 4 and I would be stretching it.

    I do not know many hymms, but I do love to sing the classic carrols, because they speak such richness in the Gospel. I used to think as I sang Emmanuel, that the truth would go forth and perhaps someones light would turn on to the gospel. You never know....

    Thank you for sharing, your life seems to be very interesting. I never saw my grandma more than 1/2 dozen visits. how cool it must be to have hung out with her so much.